Victims of Circumstance
by NarcissistMasochist
Summary: High school is just ending and Blair and Chuck's brief affair in junior year was never discovered. Now they're graduating and Blair is supposed to marry Nate. Can Chuck handle losing the only girl he's ever felt anything for?
1. Chapter 1 What A Long Ride

Victims of Circumstance

Summary – High school is just ending and Blair and Chuck's brief affair was never found out. Now they're graduating and Blair is supposed to marry Nate. Can Chuck handle losing the only girl he's ever felt anything for? Will this be their only obstacle? CHUCK/BLAIR pairing.

Chapter 1 – I Hate You

This was it. It was the last day of Constance. No more playing the perfectionist "Blair Waldorf", no more bossing around girls she had no respect for, and no more childish antics. She was Blair Waldorf and… that was all she had. Blair sat in her last class of her last day of school and the terror started to fall over her. This was it. It was all ending. What did she have after this? Sure she had Yale, she could always reign there; but people that went to Yale, not all of them were from her world. What if they didn't respect the class system? What if the Waldorf name meant nothing? She felt an anxiety attack coming on. She had to hold her position. It was important that she keep her status and it was hard to do that in the Upper East Side without being married or self made. She could always just be a socialite, but the bubbly smiles were more Serena's forte.

Blair's brief panicking was interrupted by the shrill ring of the school bell as it let out its last call. Walking out into the quad, she took in a breath of fresh air and she could feel the panic subside. It bothered her that Nate hadn't been in school that day. Her perfect boyfriend was supposed to stand next to her as she ruled her last day as queen! Not that Nate had ever been into that. Stepping away from the school that had brought her so much respect, she spotted none other than Chuck Bass, standing leisurely against his limo, a joint in one hand and his eyes on her. She groaned knowing she was expected to walk over, so she did. Since their brief affair, they rarely spoke or had contact of any sort. Blair claimed it was because he was disgusting but she knew the real reason was because she still felt that pull and she knew he felt it too. Just last month they had been with Serena and Nate discussing a graduation party when Chuck's hand brushed against her knee and he pulled it back as if she were acid. They never discussed what happened or the obvious feelings they felt. Instead they avoided them completely and so far it seemed to have worked. As she came closer to him Chuck's emotionless face showed a small smirk.

"Well, well, well, all hail the queen… or wait… that's over isn't it?" Chuck questioned slyly knowing exactly which buttons he had to push to get a reaction from her. Blair held her ground refusing to let him get to her.

"I take it you're waiting for someone; a freshman whore to give you a ride in the back of your limo?" Blair's lips pursed showing her obviously disgust.

"Right on, Waldorf. However, you can give me a ride if you want; we both know I won't object." He took one last hit of his overly cached joint before letting it fall to the ground. "Actually, I'm waiting for you. Nathaniel sent me." His playful tone fell. "I'm supposed to deliver you to him." When he caught her suspicious look he let out a small laugh. "Trust me; I'm not too thrilled about it either." Taking a hold of the limo door, Chuck opened it and waited for her to climb inside.

Blair was suspicious, how could she not be? He was Chuck Bass, the one man in the entire world that knew just what to say and how to say it to play her. She was a schemer and it took one to know one. Unsure of whether to trust him, she took out her phone and within seconds sent a text to Nate. The two stood there awkwardly as they waited for Nate's reply. Chuck kept still, the door open, while Blair stood her ground, her arms over her chest. After about a minute the familiar tone of Blair's phone rang out and Blair looked at her phone before looking back at Chuck.

"Fine, I'll go with you." She groaned, not wanting to be alone in close quarters with him. She had done her best to avoid these situations. Chuck watched tilting his head, his eyes on her ass, as she entered the car it all started in.

He slid in after her and when the door was shut, the driver started the limo and began to drive without needed instruction. Blair sat on the far side of the limo, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes looking out the window. She refused to acknowledge his presence. Chuck couldn't help but find her child-like actions amusing. He had been instructed to deliver her to Nate's grandfather's home a good hour away but he didn't want to. He didn't want to take her to her inevitable death, although others wouldn't find the situation as dooming as he did. He didn't like it.

They were quiet for a few moments. While Blair's thoughts started on her ending reign as Queen, they couldn't help but shift to Chuck and what had happened in this very limo just over a year ago. Her heart began to race and slight moisture began to occur between her thighs. She shifted a bit and Chuck immediately noticed. He knew what she was thinking because he'd been thinking the same thing. It was what he thought about every time he rode in his infamous limo so it occurred to him daily.

"I don't give girls rides in the limo." He said suddenly causing Blair to turn to him, wondering if he had been invading her thoughts. "You mentioned it at school... there are not a lot of things I find sacred but the back of the limo is one of them." This was the first time they had ever talked about what happened between them since their affair ended when Nate took Blair back.

"I don't care." Blair said coolly although Chuck knew she did. He knew she did because he cared too.

Chuck accepted the fact that they were over a long time ago but every once in a while, when he saw her flash him that smile only he ever received, or when she would let her skirt ride up her thigh and check to see if he was looking, he would think just maybe. Maybe one day they would rekindle that flame they had. Now that was over and after today he'd have no chance. He would never touch her again, kiss her again, or hold her again. The thought sent a wave of panic through Chuck. He just wanted her one last time. Just one last time before he brought her to Nate. His heart began to beat hard against his chest and he was starting to wonder if she could hear it.

Leaning over, Chuck brought his warm hand down resting it on Blair's exposed knee. Her heart fluttered instantly and she felt a familiar heaviness in her stomach that she only felt with him. Her nerves and those damn butterflies were making themselves known. Her eyes locked on his hand, afraid to look away from it as if something terrible would happen if she did.

"Chuck." She warned the nervousness evident in her voice. He kept his hand there and slid over so he was next to her. He wanted to feel her perfect body against his again; he wanted to feel the warmth of her breath against his neck. Chuck was a very experienced man when it came to sex, but there was something about her that changed it up. He could have the most extravagant sex with the most talented woman and it wouldn't measure up to tradition with Blair. He remembered the way she would look at him, a mix of nervousness and excitement in her eyes, the way she'd run her fingers along his jaw line. He missed her and he had done all he could to distract himself from her but it never worked.

Blair began to shake slightly as the fear washed over her. Whenever she was with him the same fear consumed her. What if Nate wasn't what she really wanted? She hated those thoughts and Chuck was the only one to ever bring them out. Sex with Nate was… nice but it didn't hold the same passion it did with Chuck. It didn't bring out the same feelings as it did with Chuck. Nate was a loyal boyfriend, her loyalty was to him but why was it whenever Chuck got too close or said something too feisty her blood began to pump harder?

Before she could form the words to tell him to move away, his face was inching closer to hers. Her eyes locked on his beautiful brown ones and just as their lips touched, she felt a calmness wash over her. The fears were gone, the nerves were gone, and it was just them. Just Chuck and Blair. The rest of the world melted away and it was the two of them again. Blair had forgotten how at ease she was when she was with him, something she knew no one would understand. Her hand came to rest against his cheek and jaw as she kissed him back gently. The kisses were soft, light, and brief, as if they were testing the waters before diving right in. It felt right. Blair sighed contently before she took initiative deepening the kiss. Her lips worked against his sending shocks through both of their bodies.

Before Blair could come to her senses his strong arm wrapped around her petite waist, tugging her into his lap effortlessly. Chuck couldn't get enough of her. As her lips worked against his, he wanted to deepen it farther but knew it wasn't possible. He wanted to be consumed by her and just the thought of it made his cock harden. Blair took to him right away letting her thighs envelope his waist until her knees hit the seat behind him. She could feel his obvious arousal underneath his pants against her bare thigh. Oh this was bad. This was very bad but the two couldn't stop. They had gone so long without one another that a year's worth of sexual tension was being released in the place where it all started. As Blair began to whimper against his lips, her panties became soaked with need for him. Chuck groaned at just the noises she made.

"Blair..." He mumbled and in that moment her lips left his. Fuck. He had fucked up and he had scared her and now she was going to run away from him. But to his surprise he felt her lips almost instantly on his neck. She kissed his soft flesh before biting the skin playfully. It all came flooding back to her, the nights they shared, how effortless it was being with one another, how playful it was. It was never playful with Nate. They got down to business and when it was finished, it was finished. No over time. Chuck smirked as she took time on his neck and his hands went to rest on her outer thighs before he slid his hands up underneath her Constance skirt. He was thankful she had opted not to wear tights or leggings today. It saved a lot of awkward trouble. When his fingertips came into contact with the white lace he knew was underneath, she jumped a little but continued her task. The contact surprised and intrigued her.

Chuck let his fingertips slip under the edges of her panties. He began to tug them down her hips but it wasn't long before her position made the removal impossible. "Wait," Blair said breathlessly as she pulled back. Chuck expected to see a look of regret on her face but instead saw _his_ Blair. Not the Blair the rest of the world saw, the Blair that only came out to play with him. She had a playful smirk on her face as she climbed off his lap to remove her virginal white underwear herself. Blair looked at Chuck as she removed them and took in his appearance. His hair was a mess, his face was flushed, and his lips were pink from their kisses. Oh she had missed him.

Once the garment was out of the way Blair took it upon herself to get comfortable in Chuck's lap again. All thoughts of boyfriends and rules and society were out of her head. This was their world. The world they formed when they were alone. She liked this world much better than her own. Chuck leaned forward to catch her lips but she pulled back with a sly smile.

"I'm working here, Bass." She said as her small delicate hands found their way to his pants. Chuck let out a groan, his head tilting back when he felt her hand brush against the bulge in his pants. Blair let out a giggle as she began to unbutton and unzip his pants. She pushed down his pants and boxers and Chuck lifted his hips to help her. Once his erection was free from its confines and his pants were down past his knees Blair caught his lips in a deep kiss. She closed her eyes letting herself drown in him. Her fingers moved their way through his dark hair giving it light tugs as she pushed her tongue past his lips and smirked when they began a play for dominance. She missed this. When she pushed she wanted him to push back. Nate always just let her take control, never caring to let it be a game. Chuck's hands gripped at her soft hips and taking control he lifted them and as she lowered herself over him he pushed into her slowly. The kiss broke instantly as they both moaned loudly. Being buried deep inside of her felt right, and he knew she felt it too.

"Chuck…" She moaned softly letting her head tilt back as she took in the feeling of him filling her. His hands remained on her hips giving them both a moment to adjust to the new sensations. Soon his fingers began to dig into her skin and once he had a firm hold on her he began to guide her hips, not that it was needed. Blair squirmed before she took his direction and began to move slowly against him. She didn't know if it was his experience or just because it was him but when he was inside of her every point that could be touched was and it was touched just right. The pressure was always spot on. She used to think it was always like that until she and Nate slept together, then she realized it was all Chuck.

They spent some time simply enjoying that their bodies were one again. They moved slowly savoring the moment, not wanting it all end. They took their time before they began to worry about their pleasures. Their minds were filled with thoughts of each other. Chuck thought about her lips while Blair couldn't stop thinking about how much she enjoyed nipping at his jaw line. Soon they began to work on each other and to move with more of a purpose.

Chuck did his best to keep his concentration on her. She was enough to make his rumored stamina that of lies. He could explode with just a touch from her. As she rocked against him, both of their bodies were coursing with light pleasure that was building and building. Blair began to move faster. Chuck kept his grip on her hips controlling how hard her pelvis hit against his but she was in control the speed. They were a team; one never completely controlled the other. Chuck could feel every muscle in his body began to tense and tighten and he knew it wasn't going to be long for him.

"Chuck." Blair whimpered, her throat dry. He knew that tone. She was close. She was on the edge and she needed him to give her a push. He let her hips go, handing control over to her. Snaking his hand beneath her skirt, he found the small bundle of nerves that was kept hidden away between her perfect thighs. He pressed his thumb against her, applying a slight pressure and she let out a cry as her fingers dug against his shoulders and the material of his shirt. She rode him hard a few more moments before her walls tightened around his member, constricting against him and that was it for him. All his tightened muscles released and he came hard deep inside of her. Blair came just as he did, her heart pounding as she felt that ecstasy wash over her, making her lightheaded. She didn't make any attempt to move from his lap. Instead she just stayed still, letting her breathing steady. Chuck's chest rose and fell rapidly. As he was about to say something, Blair leaned in and kissed him deeply but briefly and pulled away off of him to find her panties. As she redressed, Chuck pulled his pants up and fastened them shut.

"Sir, we're pulling up now." Arthur, his driver announced. With a bit of panic, Chuck leaned over to Blair and with a few tugs at her clothing and moving some hair into place, she was straightened out and looked presentable. She would soon hate him for this but he needed to be with her one last time. Blair couldn't help but smile as he took the time to groom her. She had read somewhere mates always groomed one another but before her thoughts could go much farther, she looked out the window to see Nate waiting for them.

The limo pulled up and Nate opened the door for her. Once Blair's hand was in his and she was out of the car, Chuck reached out and closed the door. He wasn't going to witness this. Instructing his driver to go, the limo pulled out and Nate looked at it confused.

"I take it he's not staying?" Nate asked confused, knowing that this was a big deal. He assumed Chuck was being childish and Blair only shrugged before he led her into the house. Before she could even begin to question what was going on, she walked into the living area to see all of her friends, family, and Nate's family. She smiled as they all turned their attention to her. She loved attention.

"What is all of this?" Blair asked with a wide smile, assuming it was some sort of surprise party for her. She looked to Nate to find he was on one knee in front of her. Her stomach dropped instantly.

"Blair Waldorf…" Nate began and Blair, forgetting about what had just happened in the limo, let the excitement wash over her. "Will you marry me?"

Blair shrieked instantly. "Yes!" She always wanted to be a young bride. She always wanted to be married. She no longer had to worry about status because this was it! Nate slid the ring on to her finger and stood, wrapping his arms around her. Blair couldn't stop looking at her ring, not particularly caring to look at Nate. She was getting _married_! She kept repeating in her head. Married. Married. Married. Married to… oh yeah, Nate. Who cares? She was getting married! The title was obviously more important than the boy standing next to her. This was what her life was supposed to be. This was how she had dreamed it. It was then that Blair mentally stepped back a bit to look at the situation. She was going to be married to Nate Archibald. She felt some of the excitement fade away. This was what she always wanted. Why wasn't she as happy as she had always thought she'd be?

Eleanor came up to her daughter and wrapped loving arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. "Darling, you look so flushed." It was then that it hit Blair. Chuck. She just had sex with Chuck not more than 20 minutes ago and here she was standing in a room with Nate, his family, her family, and her friends for an engagement party.

Chuck was sitting in the limo riding home as he thought about all that was going on and he began to mumble to himself.

"They're probably all jumping and squealing. Blair forgot about this the moment she walked into the overly decorated Vanderbilt house. Of course she did. My own fault. Getting attached to a friend. Never should have let that happen. I just need to suck it up. Admit defeat and act happy for them and the little white picket fence life they'll lead. She'll pop out his kids and that will be the end of it." Chuck knew he wasn't meant for Blair. Nate was. Chuck was meant to turn out like his father. It was a reality he had accepted a long time ago. He was supposed to be a bachelor until the day he died. That was just fine. He tried to convince himself. Just as they neared the city, Chuck's phone let out a familiar tone. Looking at the text he smirked. It was from Blair. "I hate you."

Just as he was about to put his phone away there was another text. It was from Gossip Girl. "There are wedding bells ringing on the Upper East Side. Just when we thought our Queen was losing her status, she proves us wrong. Looks like B is joining the Vanderbilt family. Good job snagging that one B. We sure there's many hearts breaking right now."


	2. Chapter 2 The Doppleganger

Victims of Circumstance

Chapter 2 – The Doppelganger

Chuck lay face down on his bed in his suite at The Palace. The heavy curtains were drawn over the windows keeping any ounce of sunlight from peeking into the room. After all the scotch he had consumed the night before, he definitely needed the sleep. He hadn't spent the night with the rest of his friends, gathered at the infamous Vanderbilt estate celebrating the upcoming nuptials of his best friend and the girl he would never admit to caring for. Instead, Chuck spent his time at Victrola. He had plenty of drinks, plenty of dancers, and even went into the back room to indulge in other pleasures he greatly enjoyed. He just hoped no one questioned why he wasn't in attendance. He wouldn't know what to tell them.

His sleep was interrupted by the hard knocking of a fist against his suite door, echoing through the room. He tried to ignore it, pulling his pillow over his head to muffle the noise, but the knocker was persistent. He was Chuck Bass! No one pulled him out of bed unless he wanted to be and he continued to stand his ground, choosing to be as stubborn as possible. That was until he heard the voice behind the intrusion.

"Charles Bass, open this door now!" Blair yelled as if she were an infuriated mother wanting to punish him. Chuck groaned knowing he was in for it. He tossed the pillow to the floor and after a few tries he stumbled out of bed and to the door, not bothering to get dressed in more than he went to bed in, which wasn't a lot. When Chuck swung the door open, Blair's hand was against his cheek in a flash. The sharp cracking sound filled the room instantly.

"What in the hell were you thinking?" She yelled as she forced her way into the room, causing Chuck to walk backwards still overly tired and drowsy. "Who do you think you are?" She continued as if expecting him to actually answer her. "You were taking me to be engaged and you fucked me, you son of a bitch!" She screamed, it not even occurring to her that she should keep her voice down. Chuck turned from her and headed to the bar in his room to make himself a drink. He needed anything to dull the noise of her shouting at him.

"Nice slap, Waldorf. That ring has some weight to it. Surprised it's not pulling you down." Chuck said as he went to the couch located in the center of the room and sat down. It was then Blair noticed he was in nothing but his boxer shorts. A familiar fire started to grow in her belly but with all her will she pushed it away.

"Nate and I are getting married in a month. Why did you sleep with me knowing what was going to happen?" She questioned with a defeated shrug.

"I wanted to get laid." He said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Blair simply rolled her eyes at his attempt to seem cold.

"You forget I know when you're lying... I expect you will not tell a soul about what happened, because if you do…"

"If I do, then what?" Chuck interrupted trying not to laugh. "If I tell, then your picture perfect fairytale of a wedding will be ruined and you'll be a social out cast?" Blair was quiet for a moment. He had hit a nerve and he knew it.

"And you lose Nate." Blair chipped in. "He's the only friend you've got. Let's be honest here Chuck. Nate is only your friend out of habit, and I was your friend because we scheme well, but that was ruined that night at Victrola. Face it. You're alone and you always will be, just like your father; a miserable old man."

Chuck didn't move from his spot on the couch. She was right and he hated it. He hated thinking about what his future would entail but it was a future he was made for. He was born to take over Bass and to live the life of his father.

"I'd rather be alone than marrying someone who doesn't love me." Chuck snapped back knowing he was pushing buttons he had promised himself he'd never touch. "A month? Rushing it a little, aren't we? Trying to hang onto something?" He questioned looking at her cocking an eyebrow.

"Yale." Blair said instantly but in a weaker tone than before. "I'm going to Yale after the summer, he's going to Columbia. We want to be married before then. Get a place in-between and then commute. It's all planned out." Blair didn't even know why she was still there. She had gone to smack him. She had. Her mission was completed. Time to abort. Yet she couldn't move from her spot. That was another thing she hated about him, he was always honest with her even when others weren't. She never had to question how he viewed something or what he was thinking. He always made it known.

"Do you really think Yale is going to happen, Blair? Seriously? Do you think dear old grandfather will let his soon to be politician grandson marry a woman who will not be a full time wife? Please. Your job will be to stand there, be pretty and smile."

"That's not true." Blair said shaking her head, not believing for a minute that her loyal boyfriend would ever ask her to give up her dream. "I'm done here, Chuck. I've said my peace. What was between us is over and always will be. I'm living my dream," she said, even though it was obvious she wasn't too sure. Chuck didn't bother saying anything; there was nothing he could say. He heard the slam of the suite door indicating she was gone.

A few moments later, Chuck got up to head to the shower when his phone went off. "Round two?" he questioned out loud to himself, assuming that it was Blair wanting to argue some more but instead saw it was his father. Answering, he brought the phone up to his ear. He listened to his father talk for a moment before nodding. "I'll be there in an hour," he said before shutting his phone off and going to get ready for lunch with dear old dad.

* * *

When Chuck arrived at the restaurant his father requested, he wasn't surprised to see the man was already there. Bart usually liked to be early to make his company feel a little less adequate. It worked. Chuck sat down across from his father and tried to give him his best 'I'm not a fuck up' smile. Bart was never fooled by this smile.

"So Charles," Bart began jumping right into it causing Chuck to have to set down his menu and pay attention. "You graduated, I'm proud. Now is the time in your life where all of your friends are running off, making fools of themselves, and going to school for years. You are lucky. You do not have to attend school. From the moment you were born, I've raised you to take over for me someday. Now that you are at the point in your life where you've acted as foolish as I hope you are capable of, it's time to start off at Bass Industries." The waitress came over, interrupting Bart's little speech. Bart ordered for them both, which was not surprising.

"Now, where was I?" The man questioned before nodding and continuing. "Bass Industries has always had a hard, cold feel to it and I think it's time to change that. I want our image to shift to more of a wholesome family illusion. Starting next week, I want you to begin working for Bass. You will work directly under me so you can learn what it will take to replace me when the time comes. This means your days of publicly partying, womanizing, and debauchery are over."

Bart leaned over the table to make sure Chuck was listening. "If you want to screw a whore, don't pick her up from a club or off the streets. There are more discreet ways of doing things. If you want to drink, you do so in a private establishment before leaving and going home. I don't want to see pictures of you and your buddies intoxicated on the streets, do I make myself clear?" Chuck only nodded; his father always made him feel like such a child.

"Good. And not to put any pressure on you Charles but Bass taking on a family image will change things for you. You should find yourself a nice girl. Settle down, like your friend Nathaniel. I got the invitation to his wedding. I probably won't go but I'll send a nice gift. He's marrying that Waldorf girl it seems. You're friends with her, aren't you? You two were always running around when you were children." Chuck was surprised that Bart remembered that, but to be fair it was before he started to ignore his son.

"Yes, we were." Chuck said as casually as possible but his father couldn't help but notice the tone. Bart eyed his son for a moment, deciding not to push the subject.

* * *

Later that night, Blair tiredly stood in the elevator waiting to get up to the penthouse, shopping bags in hand. After her little run in with Chuck, she had taken the opportunity to do a little retail therapy. She picked herself up a new red Chanel bag and a new pair of Tom Ford sunglasses. New accessories always took the edge off. When the elevator doors opened, Blair stepped through and was surprised by the scene in front of her. Her mother was sitting with Serena and some woman she had never met before. Eleanor noticed her daughter's arrival instantly and perked up.

"Blair, darling, this is Carol Hunter, she is the wedding planner we've hired," her mother said proudly as the tall, blond, leggy woman stood and made her way over to Blair.

"Blair Waldorf, this must be the beautiful young bride. We have a lot in store for you, my dear." She said as she took Blair's hand to give it a shake. Wasn't Blair supposed to hire a wedding planner and to sit down with her to discuss everything? Not her mother. Dorota came out of nowhere relieving Blair of all the bags that were weighing her down.

"Serena came to help," her mother added and Blair gave Serena a tired smile before nodding. She walked over to her friend and gave her a brief hug before mumbling. "Is everyone forgetting I'm the bride?" As she pulled back Serena only shrugged.

Dorota came out soon after with a tray of champagne, handing everyone a glass as Blair sat down next to Serena. She listened as everyone pitched ideas to Carol. Blair pushed one in once in a while but it was mostly ignored. She looked over the ideas they had chosen for the wedding and had to admit they were nice. Very upper class and modern, yet not what Blair would have wanted for her wedding. She downed her champagne in one gulp before setting it down on the table so Dorota could refill it. Eleanor and Serena seemed to be taking control of this whole thing. Her mother was smiling and laughing with the blond while Blair felt left out. She hated how her mother always made her feel like she was 5 years old again. Serena seemed to be having a blast going on about which china patterns she liked and which flowers she thought complimented everything well. Was Serena marrying Nate? It sure felt like it.

Blair did what she was taught and she sat back and kept quite while her life was begin planned for her. She told herself that it wasn't a big deal. This was just a wedding; it was the marriage that was important. She was going to be Mrs. Nathaniel Archibald. Although the title didn't hold as much spark as it once had, it was still what she wanted and she would be happy and suck it up.

The night ran on until 10 pm and because the wedding was on such short notice they had pretty much made all the decisions then and there. At this point, Blair didn't even feel like it was her wedding anymore. At least she would get to pick out her dress herself! No. Wait. Her mother had decided she would design it. Blair tried to tell herself that she shouldn't complain. She was being treated like a Queen; she didn't have to lift a finger. That calmed her some. She thanked Carol and gave Serena a hug before they left. Blair didn't say a word to her mother before heading upstairs to get a good night's sleep.

* * *

Chuck grasped the hand of the call girl that he was with and he led her up to his suite. During lunch, his father suggested giving up the old suite and moving into the Bass penthouse that was never used considering his father was almost always out of town. He told him he would even if he didn't like the idea. Once in the elevator with the woman that he had chosen very carefully for himself, his phone began to ring. With a drunken groan he reached into his pocket to fish out the device. The caller ID read "Nathaniel A."

"Hello?" Chuck mumbled into the phone. Nate instantly responded, "Hey man, it's Nate. I don't know why you weren't at the party last night, had a girl waiting probably. But listen, I wanted to know if you'd be my best man? I'm sure it was expected but I had to formally ask. So tell me man, what is it?"

Chuck just nodded into the phone as he leaned back against the wall of the elevator. Why the hell not. He might as well get himself deeper into this wedding.

"Sure, whatever you need." That was when Chuck heard giggling in the background. "Blair there?" he asked confused. Nate shushed the noises in the background and replied to Chuck. "Yeah, she's just stopping by. I've got to go. Bye." Nate hung up instantly and Chuck just shook his head not wanting to think more into the call. The elevator doors dinged open and Chuck took the hand of the hooker he had bought himself and led her down to his suite. Unlocking the door, he led her in before shutting it behind him.

"So, Mr. Bass." The girl cooed as she began to take off her coat. "Or would you like me to call you daddy?" She suggested, one of her perfectly polished eyebrows rising.

"Call me Chuck." Chuck told the girl with a sly smile. Chuck kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket on a chair, missing completely.

"Ok Chuck, and who am I?" The girl questioned as she advanced towards him, her stilettos making a clacking noise as she walked.

Chuck looked over the girl. She was perfect. Dark brown, long, curly hair with beautifully pale skin; she was about 5'4. It worked.

"You're Blair."

* * *

AN - thank you to my beta Alex. I adore her. Just a little FYI you wont see a lot of Brooklyn-ers in this fic. I've always noticed Chuck and Blair really just live in their own little world and rarly deal with them unless they are forced upon them. I'm planning a sequel and if it happens they will be in it more than this fic :) This also goes with Blair's eating disorder. It will make a few appearances but won't be dealt with until I feel it can really have it's own point in the story, which in the sequel it will.


	3. Chapter 3 What A Wife Should Wear

Chapter 3 – What a Wife Should Wear

Finally! Something she was allowed to do on her own! Blair held the little scanner gun in her hand, a smile on her face as she zapped every little item that called to her. She had the power and she was using it as if it was the only bit she'd ever get. Blair chose 5 gravy boats and 1 serving platter. She could do what she wanted. She had the gun. Part of her wanted to do an evil laugh on the inside as she and Serena ran rampant in the stores. Blair had had to beg to do this on her own, without her mother present. Eleanor had wanted to follow along, saying that what was on the register made a statement but Blair had complained that she wanted to do one thing herself. Sure she had Serena along, and she was pretty sure her mother had taken her aside before they left because Serena kept trying to point Blair towards things she cared nothing about, but Blair finally felt like she was in control.

As their spree settled and the two girls walked through the store seeing if there was anything they'd missed, Blair's mind started to wander. She hated her wandering mind because it tended to concentrate on things that she wasn't ready to think about; namely Chuck Bass. It had been a week since she had talked to him in his suite and not one ounce of contact had been made. He didn't try to call her, text her, leave her dirty innuendos on her facebook, nothing.

This was not the Chuck Bass she knew. Maybe he was finally realizing that they could no longer play the little games they used to play. She couldn't let her skirt ride up in hopes he'd see and he couldn't sign in under his fake twitter account as Charlie Trout and leave her inside jokes on Dorota's twitter page. They were growing up and maybe it was about time they realize that, even if the idea didn't settle well. She had just always had him. It was comforting. She knew at the end of the day, no matter what happened with Nate, Serena, or her mother, Chuck would always be there to listen; even if he gave her insensitive comments in return. He always cared and that was something she always appreciated.

Serena interrupted her thoughts. "So why didn't Nate come?" The blond questioned, as she picked up an overly priced picture frame and examined it. "I mean, he has to live with these things too, right?"

Blair listened to her friend and shrugged her shoulders before zapping the frame her friend held with the gun, "You know Nate. This isn't exactly something he enjoys or ever will. I'm still 95% sure his mother lays out his clothes for him daily. He's more of someone to be led. He doesn't like to lead and he never likes to take control." Blair sighed. As much as she enjoyed being in control with her friends and her minions, it shouldn't be like that in a relationship. It should be about teamwork.

"I'm sure he'll grow up one day, B. I mean, he did propose. That's got to show he's at least thinking about the future. Sometimes I don't think he understands the consequences of things he does." Serena said casually before picking up a candlestick holder and zapping it with her gun.

Blair was somewhat taken back by Serena's statement. She felt like she was missing a piece of a puzzle that her friend was holding onto. What did she mean he didn't think about consequences? The consequences of marrying her? Did Serena think that Nate didn't want to be in it for the long haul with Blair? Before she had a chance to voice this, Serena's phone went off. The blond put her gun down and reached into her purse pulling it out. She looked at the ID and groaned.

"It's my mother." She informed Blair. "I have another one of those luncheons with people I care nothing about." With a roll of her eyes, Serena gave Blair a hug. "Call me!" And with that, the girl was out of the store faster than Blair could blink. She felt as if she was being left a lot recently.

* * *

Chuck lay in bed, the sheets riding low on his hip as he watched his gift to himself get dressed. The closer the wedding got, the more frequently he was hiring these women. He was Chuck Bass so of course he didn't need to buy sex but he did need to buy tight lips. Any other girl would tell Gossip Girl in a moment what he asked of these girls but hookers were paid to keep their mouths shut. Chuck hadn't spoken to Blair, he had no reason to, but his avoidance of Nate was probably becoming obvious. As if his thoughts were being read, there was a knock at the door. Chuck sat up looking towards the entrance of his suite and for a moment questioning if he should pretend he wasn't there. After a few more knocks, he heard Nate's voice on the other side and he groaned.

"One minute." Chuck said loud enough for Nate to hear. He made sure the girl was paid and after sliding on and fastening his pants he opened the door for Nate to come in. Just as he opened the door for his friend, he noticed a bag sitting by the door. Grabbing it quickly, he kept it hidden behind him. His taller friend smirked instantly, seeing the call girl gathering her things. Once she gave the boys a quick smile, she was out the door.

"Now I see why you didn't answer. I would have left my ass out there too." Nate laughed as he made himself comfortable on the couch that was located in the center of the room.

Chuck nodded with a devilish smirk as he walked over to the bar to fix them both a drink and to stash the bag. So it was the afternoon; they were graduated, what did it matter?

"Pretty gorgeous, isn't she?" Chuck asked rhetorically since the girl looked just like Blair. As he poured them drinks, he didn't get the answer he expected from Nate because the boy only shrugged.

"She's ok; looks like a doll. I like my woman tall and sexy in a more… obvious way." Chuck handed his best friend a scotch before he sat down across from him in the matching armchair.

"Is that so? Than why are you marrying Blair? She must be pretty damn good in bed if you're looking past the fact she's nothing like you just described." Chuck knew damn well the girl was incredible in bed. Every little facial expression she made reminded him of a Bernini masterpiece. And every sound that fell from her lips drove him wild.

Nate only shrugged at his best friend's observations. "She's ok. Besides, this marriage is more for convenience than anything. It makes her happy, her mother happy, my family happy… it works." This was the first time Chuck was hearing this.

"So does Blair know this is a marriage of convenience and not much more?" Chuck always knew his friend's affections for Blair were not very deep but he still thought Nate loved her, even if it wasn't as intense as Blair's infatuation with him.

"Does it matter? Come on, man. You've known her as long as I have. She's all about the title. Half the time I don't think she loves me, just the life she thinks we'll have. She's into the idea of it all. She gets a ring; she gets to be a wife. She's getting what she wants and I please my family. Win, win." Nate said, obviously convinced that's all it would take to make the marriage work.

"The girl always has had her own little love affair with love. I think she would marry anyone." And that was why Chuck knew he would never be right for her. She wanted the fairytale: wedding, status, kids, and commitment. It didn't matter who it was with; she'd be happy. At least that's what he thought. Chuck wanted her affection, but he wasn't sure if he could give her the other half that came along with it.

"I really just came by to say hey, I didn't think we'd get into a Blair conversation." Nate said, seeming annoyed at having to talk about his future wife. "I wanted to thank you for being my best man, even if the only responsibility that comes with that is throwing a bachelor party. As you are Chuck Bass, we know it will be one to remember. I'm actually on my way to meet my grandfather…" Nate looked at his wristwatch. "Now, actually. Thanks for the drink. Sorry for running out your girl." Chuck only nodded more preoccupied with replaying the conversation they had just had in his head.

"It's fine. Anytime you need a drink, you know where I am." Nate gave his friend a thankful nod before heading out. It seemed no one would stay in one place for more than 5 minutes anymore on the Upper East Side.

* * *

Darkness fell over the city and after a brief phone conversation with his father about his upcoming position at Bass, Chuck decided that it was time to bring the gift he had bought to its intended owner. He was nervous, unsure of how she'd take the gift. It was meant as a peace offering. They were friends and he missed that. Entering the Waldorf apartment, Chuck was greeted by Dorota with his bag securely in hand. Once the maid allowed him, Chuck went upstairs towards Blair's bedroom. Approaching her door, he knocked quietly before pushing it open and the scene in front of him forced a smile on his face. She was sitting in the middle of her bed wearing one of her lesser expensive nightgowns, soft candlelight filling the room, Bridal magazines scattered around her. His presence was acknowledged almost instantly. Looking up at him, Blair gave him a barely there smile.

"Chuck Bass…" She began as she closed some of the magazines. She didn't know why she was bothering with them, none of her preferences mattered anyways. She was simply indulging in her fantasy of how her wedding should be, just like when she was a child.

"Long time no see." She said, pushing the magazines away. It had been a week and even when they were actively avoiding each other, they still saw one another more than that. She eyed the shopping bag in his hand and she lit up. A present! She loved presents.

"Is that for me?" She questioned, child like as she reached her hands out for the bag. Chuck's face lit up instantly and he nodded with a genuine smile as he sat on the edge of her bed handing over the bag.

"It's a peace offering. It's to show you that I do not intend to sabotage or ruin the big day for you in any way." Blair reached into the bag and pulled out the garment. It was a beautiful ivory lace teddy. It took her breath away. It looked straight out of those old movies she loved. It covered just enough to be classy but showed enough skin to make the mind wander. It looked as if it would be tight enough to show off her curves but loose enough to remain modest. It was incredible and obviously very expensive. Blair couldn't take her eyes off of it.

"Chuck…" She began unable to find the words to express how much she liked it. After taking a few more moments to look over the piece, she set it down. Looking to him, she caught his eyes and saw that look; the rare look he gave her that brought out a very familiar fear. She had never seen that look from anyone else and she had never seen him give it to anyone else. It was adoration.

"It's perfect." Blair smiled softly, her heart fluttering. "How did you know? It's exactly what I would have picked out myself." Although any other time Blair would have thrown it at him, told him he was disgusting and made him leave, it was obvious that a lot of thought had been put into it for her. For once, it was for _her_. No one else contributing to this wedding thought about what she wanted but he obviously had and she knew it couldn't have been easy for him.

Chuck reached out, catching the material between his fingers and giving her a simple shrug. "Well… I mean this is what I would want my wife to wear. It seemed suitable for the occasion." Chuck had known he was crossing a line when he bought it, but when she didn't scold him he felt better about his bold purchase.

Blair's heart dropped into her stomach as he said that. Reaching her hand out towards him she ran her small, delicate fingers along his jaw line, letting her thumb brush over his bottom lip lightly. Chuck looked up, meeting her eyes for a moment before catching her hand in his. He slid her palm over his lips before giving her a soft kiss there. Blair couldn't help but let her smile widen, a small almost unnoticeable giggle slipping out from between her lips.

Blair knew she should pull her hand away but the task seemed impossible. His rough stubble against her smooth fingertips sent familiar chills through her body. Before Chuck could pull away he was caught by the look in Blair's eyes. He knew that look from her; it was one of want. Moving onto her knees, she leaned over and gave him a feather light peck on his lips. She pulled back some to look in his eyes, searching for a sign of hesitancy. When he didn't give her one, the two leaned in and kissed softly.

* * *

Dorota looked at the clock, knowing it was time for Miss Blair to go to bed. No charge of hers would wake up with puffy eyes. Mister Chuck had been in there for far too long and he needed to go home and let Miss Blair sleep. Walking up the steps, Dorota came closer to Blair's room.

Pushing the door open she started, "Miss Blair…" but stopped when she saw the scene in front of her. Her Blair was underneath the well-known Chuck Bass, their bodies rocking together in unison, the sheets barley covering up a thing. Dorota began to yell at the two.

"Out!" She yelled out at the boy. Blair's eyes widened as she brought her hands to Chuck's chest pushing him off of her. Chuck feeling the same panic Blair felt grabbed his clothes and pulled them on as quickly as he could before rushing through the door. Her mother he could handle but Dorota was another story. Besides, he knew Blair would give him the same glare once she had gotten over her shame. Once Chuck was gone, Blair pulled the dark sheets tight up around her body as Dorota stood in the doorway giving her a disappointed look.

"Mister Nate does not deserve that kind of behavior from his future bride. No matter what feeling you hold for Mister Chuck, you have promised yourself to the Archibald family. You must now honor that promise." And with that, the maid left, closing the door to Blair's room.

Shame washed over Blair instantly. How had she let it happen again? All because he bought her a gift! What was she, one of his call girls? She ran her hands over her face in an attempt to stop the tears from falling but it didn't work. She sobbed into her hands and the action felt incredibly freeing. She had needed this; she had needed to cry. It wasn't just about being caught, it was about everything; her mother choosing what she was wearing, what her wedding would be, she was questioning her want for Nate and the entire marriage. It was all too much.

The crying, as therapeutic as it was, didn't feel like enough. Pushing the sheets from her body, Blair got out of bed letting her bare feet hit the cold floor. Walking over to the bathroom, she made no attempt to cover herself up. Once she was in, she shut the door locking it behind her. Going over to the sink, she turned on the water letting it run freely. She took the few steps to the toilet and squatting down in front of it she did what she knew best to handle stressful situations. After a few dry heaves she successfully emptied the contents of her stomach.

* * *

AN - thanks again to my awesome beta Alex. Please let me know your thoughts!:)


	4. Chapter 4 A Little More X Rated

Victims of Circumstance

Chapter 4 – A Little More X Rated

A week had gone by since Dorota caught Chuck and Blair. Thankfully, the maid was extremely loyal to her charge and no one had the slightest clue about what had happened. Chuck was doing his best to avoid both Nate and Blair. Whenever he saw Blair he felt jealousy and whenever he saw Nate he felt guilt. Blair was in the same boat as Chuck. All she ever thought about was how she had cheated on Nate for the second time. Her worries and fears consumed her. Would she be a good wife? Could she be everything Nate needed her to be? Would she get over the stupid crush she had on Chuck?

"Miss Blair!" Dorota called out as she entered Blair's room to find her in the same place she had left her earlier in the day. Dorota looked at the girl's state and her expression softened; although she was disappointed in Miss Blair for her actions with Mister Chuck, she felt for her.

Blair stayed in the same spot on her large bed, lying in the middle completely swallowed up by the plush pillows and sheets. Her hair was a tousled mess and she hadn't changed out of her pajamas. She kept her eyes on the tv screen she had demanded. Blair watched as her favorite Audrey movie played out in front of her and popped another piece of Godiva chocolate into her mouth. She wasn't concerned with weight gain. Far from it; her nasty little habit was sneaking back into her life, which made worries of fitting into her wedding gown non-existent. She chose to keep the problem to herself, not wanting to have to involve a psychiatrist just 2 weeks before she'd become Mrs. Nathaniel Archibald.

"Shush Dorota, this is the best part." Blair scolded her maid but she lacked her normal passion. She focused on the familiar scene.

_Holly; clad in only a robe, climbs into the bed of an equally unclothed neighbor she had just met. _

"_Do you mind if I just get in with you for a minute? It's all right. Really, it is. We're friends, that's all. We are friends, aren't we?" _

"_Sure." He responded as Holly began to cuddle against his bare chest._

"_Let's don't say another word. Let's just go to sleep." Holly begged as she closed her eyes. The man took her drink from her hands and set it aside; he took her cigarette from her and put it out before shutting off the light and then he watched her sleep_

Blair couldn't help but smile; the scene always warmed her. It was her favorite part. She always wanted a man like that, someone who would take care of her without question or being told to do so. Men like that were in old movies and nothing else, she had learned that a long time ago, but she'd never hesitate to try to turn Nate in to that man.

Once satisfied with her viewing experience, Blair turned to her maid and raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Dorota?" She questioned as she pushed her box of chocolates aside.

"Mister Nate here to see you." The maid announced with a judgmental look on her face. Blair gave her a nod and then she was gone to fetch the boy. Blair sat up and smoothed out her hair in an attempt to look presentable. When Nate appeared in the doorway, she gave him a practiced smile.

"Look who it is, my fiancé. To what do I owe this pleasure?" She asked as he went over to the bed and sat down next to her. He leaned in kissing her quickly on the lips.

"I figured I would stop by before heading over to Chuck's. I need to help him pack before our engagement party tonight." Nate said as he looked around. He grimaced at the movie on the screen and taking the remote he muted it. Reaching over to her box of chocolates, he took one into his mouth before putting the box on the nightstand next to the bed. "Should you really be eating those 2 weeks before the wedding? I thought girls diet." Blair chose to ignore Nate's words because if she didn't, she was pretty sure she would be crying and running into the bathroom to make sure those chocolates were no longer in her stomach.

"Wait. Help Chuck pack? Help Chuck pack for what?" She asked, beginning to panic. Was he leaving? Had he finally had enough of whatever sick game it was they were playing? "Where is he going? He's not going far is he?" Nate looked at Blair confused, as if she had lost her mind.

"What do you mean where is he going? You two are friends. Didn't he tell you? He started working at Bass this week and his father doesn't want the future leader of his company living it up in a hotel suite. Something about how adult men live in homes." Nate didn't seem to really care about any of it, not that he ever did. Although Blair almost never saw him with a joint, she was convinced that he was stoned most of the time.

Nate looked over to the side of the bed, a black bag catching his eye. Reaching into it he pulled out the ivory, lace, piece of lingerie Chuck had bought her. When Blair saw it, she felt that familiar heart fluttering but Nate ruined it the moment he opened his mouth.

"Taking this back?" He assumed, since it was still in the bag and obviously never worn for him. "Good choice. I know you like the old movie stuff but we're adults now." Nate leaned over about to kiss her and he smiled. "I like things a little more X rated." He gave her a kiss before moving off of the bed.

Blair looked at him with surprise and a hint of disgust. X rated? What the hell did X rated mean? Did it mean those florescent purple numbers with cut outs on the boobs and crotch? Things those trashy porn stars wear? She would not be wearing anything like that so he should get that thought out of his head this moment. Blair's thoughts were running high and she barely noticed when he said his goodbyes and left the room.

Blair picked up the garment and looked it over for a moment. Screw Nate. She liked it and she was keeping it! It was then she realized that she really couldn't. He didn't like it. He was the one she was wearing these things for and if he didn't like it, then she couldn't wear it. Sadness fell over her. She loved the stupid little thing! Getting out of bed, she walked over to her mirror, held the piece up against her body and she smiled. It would look amazing on her despite her tousled hair and makeup-less face. In reality, it was just another piece of clothing that really wasn't much different than anything else she owned but for some reason she was just attached to it. When she saw it, she got butterflies and she yearned to touch it. Her mind wasn't even processing that this could be because of the giver of the gift. Blair was about to try it on when there was a knock at the door and it was pushed open by Dorota.

"Miss Blair, Miss Serena here for shopping trip. You need to buy outfit for party tonight before Miss Eleanor finds out and force outfit upon you." Dorota gave her charge a wink before she began to clean up the mess Blair had made in her bed with the movies and candies. Blair thanked her maid before looking down at the teddy again. She picked up the black bag it came in and put it back inside before going to her closet and stashing it in the back. She then looked over the clothes hanging so she could decide what to wear for the shopping trip.

* * *

By the time night fell, the engagement party was in full swing. The crème de la crème of the Upper East Side filled the Palace ballroom. All the woman were gathered laughing and snickering and trading the occasional piece of gossip while the men talked about their latest business venture. Blair and Nate were seated in the center of the room with Serena by Blair's side and Chuck by Nate's. The four talked and chatted, Blair acting as if this was the wedding of her dreams and Nate acting as if he cared. Every few minutes some overly dressed old socialite would approach them with smiles and a brief story about how she and her husband met. Blair and Nate would nod and act interested, knowing her husband was sleeping with his yoga instructor. Blair wasn't even considering that she was staring at her future.

Nate kept trying to sneak away for a smoke but every time, Blair would see the smirk on Chuck's face and she knew what the two were up to. She gave Nate a hard slap on the knee.

"Not tonight, please." She said every time with a roll of her eyes. She eventually sent Chuck a text message, scolding him._ "Don't be a bad influence or I'll kidnap your scarf and burn it. Don't push me, Bass." _She then looked over the table and gave him a pointed look. Chuck was confused by her gaze until his phone buzzed and he read the text. He replied almost instantly. _"Do it and Audrey goes down." _Chuck didn't even have to look at her to know she read the text; he heard the gasp. Before the future bride could send her retort, Eleanor appeared before them with a smile.

"It's time for your speeches!" She said excitedly to Serena and Chuck. Serena smiled wide but Chuck's stomach dropped.

"Speech? What speech?" He asked frantically, outraged at the concept. "I was unaware of a speech." Blair's eyes widened and she looked at Nate before pushing his shoulder in frustration.

"Yeah...I forgot to tell him." Nate admitted before looking at Chuck. "Sorry, man. Blair told me to tell you and then I was distracted." He shrugged his shoulders.

Chuck was beginning to panic. It was like those dreams where you're at school and you have to take a test that you never studied for, not that Chuck Bass studied. Or worse, those dreams where you have to give a goddamn speech you weren't prepared for. Eleanor noticed his increasing panic and gave Chuck a sympathetic look.

"It's ok, Charles. We'll have Serena go first and then while she does hers, you can just make something up. You're a bright boy." Eleanor reached over to pat him on the shoulder before she left. Chuck looked over at Blair and though she was annoyed at Nate, she gave Chuck a worried look.

"Listen," she began, "you don't have to do it, it's fine." She said, trying to shrug it off, but Chuck could tell she was unhappy with this turn of events. Her eyes were locked on the untouched food on her plate and her shoulders sagged. It was clear she had wanted this. Chuck knew he had to pull through so he began trying to pull together as many sentences as could.

Serena with a huge confident smile on her face took the microphone from Eleanor after she had announced that the best man and maid of honor were giving speeches. Blair watched her friend up there and as always she was jealous. Serena practically glowed. Her smile was one people have always talked about and her hair shown in the light. As always, Serena ruled whichever room she was in. Blair hated it.

"Hi! I'm Serena, Blair's maid of honor, and I have known these two since we were all just kids. They have been joined at the hip since kindergarten when Blair first spotted our little Nate here. I'm surprised it took him so long to pop the question since Blair has practically been planning this wedding since we were 12! I wish them all the love and luck in the world and if I could find someone half the man Nate is, I know I'd be just as happy as Blair." Serena gave them both a wink. "Now a speech from the best man!" Serena said before walking over to her seat, handing Chuck the microphone. Blair was a little disappointed in the blonde's speech. It didn't seem thought out at all.

Chuck closed his eyes for a moment before he stood, trying to get his thoughts in order. He knew his speech would be scattered but he hoped that it would serve the purpose it was meant to. Walking a few feet into the center of the room, he smirked when he noticed all eyes on him. Blair watched him intently, that small fluttering filling her stomach as she waited in anticipation for his speech.

"I'm sure I don't need to introduce myself but for those of you living under a rock, I'm Chuck Bass." Blair's smiled widened as she laughed a little at his overly confident beginning. "As Serena said, we have known these two people for most of our lives and I like to think that we both know them pretty well." His eyes landed on Blair and a hint of a smile appeared on his lips. Blair noticed, as did Dorota who was sitting not too far away.

"To quote Aristotle 'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.' That sounds pretty good, doesn't it? I think love is when there is a part of you that recognizes itself in someone else." His eyes remained on Blair; thankfully everyone just assumed he was looking at the couple in general and not specifically at the bride. Blair noticed and began to blush. She leaned over to Serena, asking if it was getting warm.

"When you look at that person you see perfection and acceptance where others may see flaws. When you show them a part of yourself others will never see and when they give you the same. I've heard a lot of people say that they don't know if they're in love but those are the ones just afraid to admit that they're not."Blair pulled back from Serena turning her attention back to the man speaking to them... to her.

"When you love someone, you know it. You feel a tug at your gut when they're not around and you'd give anything to see them. Just the thought of them with someone else can drive you to drink. Or sometimes you get scared just thinking about how you feel about them. We are all in this room for one reason: to be in the presence of true love. I can tell all of you for a fact that at this moment, you are."

As the speech finished, Blair wiped away a single tear that had fallen; she tried to hide it while everyone else clapped. Chuck spoke as if he knew what love felt like and Blair had to admit that she had never felt those feelings with Nate. Nate was a possession, but all those feelings, she had felt them with Chuck and that scared her. It scared her more knowing he felt it too. Picking up her glass of champagne, she downed all the contents before requesting some more from a waiter.

* * *

The party was winding down; half the guests had gone home while the others were thanking Eleanor and Anne for the beautiful party they had thrown. The night had gone well after the speeches; Nate and Blair shared a few dances as did Serena and Chuck. Although Blair's father had been unable to make the party she knew he was coming to the wedding and that mattered most.

Chuck stood in the center of the room as the last of the guests made their way out and the hotel cleaning service began their job. After his speech, he felt as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Although nothing really happened, in a way he was finally able to express how he felt, even if it was cryptic. For once, he felt relief. He began to head up to his room but when he got to the staircase, what he saw in front of him made him freeze.

Blair sat at the bottom of the staircase, her back against the wall, staring straight forward into the lobby. Her perfect cream colored dress was a little wrinkled at the ends because of her position and her hair was losing its volume. She looked empty, as if she was deep in thought. Her body was there but it was clear her mind wasn't. He then remembered all the champagne she had to drink; she couldn't have been sober. Chuck sighed before making his way over and sitting next to the girl. He brought his hand to her knee and patted it with a small smile.

"Hey. What are you doing here alone?" Chuck questioned and he watched as she snapped back to reality. She didn't care to scold him for touching her nor did she care to move his hand. She merely shrugged her shoulders at his question.

"I've simply come to the realization that I am going to be a bad wife." She said very casually as if she had thought it over for hours and was at ease with the fact. "I don't even know where Nate is right now. God knows what he expects from this marriage. I mean, your speech..." Blair locked eyes with Chuck and just shook her head. "Those feelings you talked about... you were right. That is love. That is exactly what love should be. I don't feel that towards Nate." In that moment all of Blair's drunken sadness washed over her and tears began to form behind her eyes. Chuck noticed instantly and panicked.

"Hey. Hey don't cry. Blair, you will be a phenomenal wife." he said, hoping to calm her. "You do feel those feelings towards Nate. I know you do. You've just felt them for so long you simply don't notice it anymore." Bullshit. Pure bullshit but anything to make her feel better. "And the things we've done? All my fault. That was just me taking advantage of the situation. When I came by last week and I gave you that peace offering, despite what happened afterward... although it was incredible..." Chuck started getting lost in his thoughts but he quickly came back to the goal of this talk. "I promised you I'd help you make this marriage work and I'm going to. I'll make sure Nate is at that altar sober, dressed, and on time. I will stop hitting on the bride and..." Chuck just shrugged. "Anything to make you happy, right?" He questioned his eyes meeting hers. He was happy to see the tears hadn't fallen.

Blair looked at him and let his words calm her; it wasn't so much what he was saying but how he was saying them. The intent behind the words was to make her feel better and it had been a while since someone bothered, someone other than him. She suddenly felt at ease and her drunken panic was subsiding.

Wiping away the tears that welled up against her lower lashes she just nodded and was quiet for a few moments.

"You know, I think I'll be a great wife. I was queen of Constance; that is great experience. I know how to choose the perfect gifts, I know how to plan parties, I know when to send thank you notes, I know how to shun people, and I know how to put up a front; all while keeping up my grades. I can be good at this, I can be a damn great wife!" Blair said confidently and a little louder than she would have liked. "I don't even know why I'm crying." She admitted with a shrug. The reason she was crying was because she was scared. Scared that this was all a mistake but she was too far in now to turn back.

Blair's last few drinks were starting to hit her and for a moment she felt a little dizzy. Bringing her hand to her head to ease the spinning, she moved her body and attempted to lie on the stairs. Chuck was quick to react. He stood and taking her hands into his, pulled her up effortlessly, as if she were a rag doll.

"Okay perfect wife, let's get you upstairs before a concierge walks by and catches a peak up that dress that has been riding up your thighs this entire time." His warm arm wrapped around her tiny waist and Blair instinctively leaned into him, taking a whiff of his cologne and smiling to herself.

"You smell like Chuck." She told him, making it clear just how much the alcohol was starting to affect her. "Like scotch, cologne, and a touch of weed... I told you not to smoke with Nate." She tried to scold him but it didn't come off bossy enough for her liking. Chuck pulled her into the elevator and hit the level for her room. He was trying to remember which of the rooms they'd booked was hers. There was one for each of them, him, Nate, Serena, and Blair but he couldn't remember.

"I do smell like Chuck, and you smell like Blair." Chuck concluded trying to act as if her behavior wasn't affecting him but in reality he adored her in any state. When the elevator door opened, Chuck didn't move out right away and instead he took her purse and opened it, despite her mild attempts at stopping him. He found her key and, reading the number, he nodded to himself before reaching for her hand. Once he grasped it, he tugged her down the hall to her door.

"Now can you get into bed without breaking your neck or do I need to assist you?" He teased, only to have Blair smirk; he knew that smirk. That smirk only ever got him into trouble.

"Can you help me out of my dress?" Blair asked him her hands going around to the back to begin unbuttoning it. Chuck shook his head and stopped her.

"I'll help you but let's try to keep your clothing on in the hallway." He encouraged, letting a smirk slip. He unlocked her door and helped her inside before letting the door shut behind him. After putting her purse down, he looked up to find Blair was standing in the middle of the room, her hands behind her back with a pout on her lips. She looked like a doll. Before he could say anything, she turned around and Chuck without another thought walked up behind her and began to unbutton the back of her dress. Each button was small and it spanned from her neck to her lower back. It was quite a chore and he wondered how she had gotten into it in the first place.

His heart was beating faster and faster with each button that was undone and his pants were getting tighter. He had to behave himself. Once all the buttons were done he ran the back of his fingers down her spine letting himself bask in her beauty for a few moments. Blair turned around and gave him a smile.

"I would have ended up having a fit on the floor if I had to get out of this on my own." She laughed as she swayed a bit on her feet.

"You should get to bed." Chuck said trying to act like a responsible adult, even if he was far from one.

"Come to bed with me?" Blair asked him as her doe eyes locked with his. Her hand reached for his and her soft fingertips slid over along the length of his. "We both know you want to." Blair began to lean in to kiss him but Chuck pulled away, shaking his head.

"I can't Blair." He hated himself for telling her no. He wanted to crawl into bed with her and remove every piece of clothing on her body. "I made you a promise." And with that, Chuck gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking to the door and leaving. Once the door was closed, Blair felt that familiar sadness wash over her and she cried.

* * *

"Nate, we shouldn't." Serena said, shaking her head as his lips moved against her neck. "Stop it. You're marrying Blair! We can't do this anymore. It's not right." She told him, bringing her hands to his chest, meaning to push him away but instead it turned into a caress.

"One more time, Serena. Please, I need you." he said as his lips left her skin and his eyes met hers. She knew she would give in, he knew she would give in; so she gave in.

"Last time." She told him unconvincingly. "But when you're married, that's it. It's all over. You made your choice." She said, trying to sound angry but failing. That night, they had sex in Serena's hotel room for the second time that week. Every time it happened, they promised it would be the last, but it never was.


	5. Chapter 5 Roles Reversed

Victims of Circumstance

Chapter 5 - Roles Reversed.

It was the morning of her wedding and all Blair could do was stare at her reflection in the mirror. As everyone hustled and bustled around her, Blair's eyes remained locked on her own, as if she was searching for something. Searching for some part of her that wanted this as much as she had so desperately had in the past. Her hair was done to perfection; soft curls cascading down her shoulders, a few tendrils were pinned up. Her makeup was flawless, and it looked as if her skin was utterly poreless. And here she was, looking like the perfect young bride. She should have been happy... she should have been beaming-but she wasn't. She felt as if she was waiting for a happy ending and she knew that ending might not come.

Before Blair had the chance to make a rational conclusion of her thoughts, Eleanor's critical voice invaded the peaceful room. She came in holding Blair's veil, which she had just put the finishing touches on. With a needle and thread held tightly between her lips, Eleanor stood behind Blair holding the veil up against her head, careful not to touch her hair. Her judgmental eyes looked over the picture in front of her and Eleanor groaned some as she pulled back.

"I don't think there are enough pearls." Eleanor mumbled as she stepped back and sat on the edge of Blair's bed for just a moment to sew on another pearl. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the final touch before sewing it on quickly and meticulously. Blair turned her head to look at her mother, but remained silent.

Eleanor as if sensing her daughter's direct gaze, glanced up briefly.

"You my dear, are a vision. Your hair is fabulous; we must thank Antonio for coming on such short notice. It will be the perfect compliment to the dress, it really will be." Eleanor talked on as she finished up the veil and then Blair saw her mother smile at it in a way she hoped she would smile at her.

"It's quite beautiful, mother. I must say it's your best work yet." Blair turned back to her vanity to look into the mirror as her mother came up again to hold it against her daughter's head.

"Thank you, darling. It's not everyday my daughter gets to marry the boy she's been dreaming of for years. And an Archibald, no less. Anne and I have talked about this since you two were thirteen."

Blair grimaced slightly. "Too bad we couldn't have done it then, mother. Please everyone a little sooner?" Blair questioned with a bit of an attitude, but it was lost on Eleanor as she was too wrapped up in working on the veil.

"You are very lucky, Blair. Nathaniel could have anyone as his bride and he chose you. I'm very proud." With that Eleanor pulled the veil away and leaned forward giving her daughter an air kiss, not wanting to smudge her make up.

"I'll go pack this up for the church." And with that statement Eleanor was gone and Dorota came in, closing the door behind her. Blair looked up at the odd action before cocking an eyebrow towards the maid.

"Dorota... are you hiding from Vanya again?" Blair questioned before turning around to watch as the maid pulled up a chair to talk to Blair.

"Miss Blair..." Dorota began, and Blair noted her nervousness. "I think time we talk about Mister Chuck." Dorota looked onto her concerned and Blair suddenly grew annoyed.

"There is nothing that needs to be said about _Mister Chuck." _Blair mocked Dorota's accent when saying his name and instead she turned herself back around looking into her mirror, her way of ignoring the maid.

"Miss Blair. I know I say that you promise yourself to Archibalds, but if you have feeling for Mister Chuck you can't go through with wedding. It not right. I've been thinking hard and long..." Blair interrupted the maid instantly.

"You don't need to be doing any long and hard thinking, Dorota. I'm marrying Nate, this has never been a question, and it never will be." The truth was that she was welcoming Dorota's concern, she had never had another person to talk to before when it came to this.

"Ignore all details, Miss Blair. Ignore family, ignore head..." She said bringing her index finger to her head. "Ignore all. In Miss Blair's heart, what does Miss Blair want? Marriage is like closet. Who does Miss Blair want in closet with her? Mister Nate, or Mister Chuck?" Dorota asked quietly before sitting back in anticipation of Blair's answer.

The analogy seemed to speak to Blair and she sat there for a moment as she thought about it. The answer was a simple, being trapped in a closet with Chuck was certainly before favorable than with Nate. She was about to give Dorota her honest answer before she stopped herself.

"You can't ignore the details, Dorota. Chuck is who he is, he has never once given me a sign he wants anything from me other than intimate company. If he wanted me, don't you think he would have shown me by now? And even if he had who's to say I want that from him? Chuck Bass is no husband. Chuck Bass is who good girls go to to soil their wild oats before going to the men they're meant to settle down with." Blair said with a nod of her head, it was true and no amount of feelings would change that. "I can't give up a perfectly pleasing life for someone who in no way can promise me the same. My destiny is with Nate, Dorota. Always has been, always will be."

Dorota opened her mouth to say more but Blair held her hand up to stop her and Blair simply shook her head making it clear she wanted no more of this. Dorota, looking defeated nodded before standing and putting her chair back in the corner of the room. Just as Dorota left a storm of blonde hair rushed into the room and Serena's not-so-chipper voice invaded her thoughts.

"Morning, B." Serena said as she tossed herself onto Blair's bed.

"What is there a line out there or something?" Blair mumbled to herself as she saw the careless act from her mirror and she turned to look at her best friend, who then offered her a small smile.

"Look at you, little miss perfection." Serena said, genuinely happy with the way Blair looked. "You're a beautiful bride." Serena perched herself up on her elbows as she looked at her friend. There was sadness in Serena's face as she continued to stare. Blair didn't like staring, as she would often feel judged, especially by her perfect best friend.

"You hair isn't done." Blair said, with a tone similar to her mother's. "And as for your make up, you may want to ease up on the blue. We're no longer in the seventies, Serena." Blair said as she turned to look at her own reflection once again.

"Wow, sorry _Eleanor_." Serena said, emphasizing the word and that made Blair feel instant guilt. She shook her head as she stood from her vanity, her long white robe draped around her.

"I'm sorry, S. I've just got..." Blair couldn't find the words to describe the feeling in her stomach.

"Butterflies? Flutterbyes? Whatever you want to call them?" Serena asked as she sat up some more. "And my hair is done." She said sheepishly as she slid off the bed, now looking into Blair's vanity to see what exactly was wrong with her long hair.

"Not butterflies." Blair said as she walked over to the long white garment bag that encased her one-of-a-kind Eleanor Waldorf original. The feeling wasn't butterflies, butterflies meant nervousness or excitement. This feeling felt more dooming. Blair knew that she had to hold it together; she couldn't let stupid non-existent butterflies ruin her day. She barely remembered the night before, but she remembered someone saying she'd be a good wife and damn it she would be if it were the last thing she did. She didn't care if she had to channel Grace Kelly herself, Blair would be the picture of grace and perfection.

"Are you concerned about the bachelor party?" Serena's sudden concern broke Blair from her thoughts and she turned around to look at Serena, shaking her head. Normally, Blair would be right there with Serena, instead of thinking about her dress and the way it would possibly hide her deep, dark thoughts, she and Serena would be in the middle of her bed thinking about every single thing Nate possibly could have done. At the moment though, Blair had lost that fear of her future husband cheating on her. Despite his little slip over two years ago he had been the picture of loyalty and perfection.

Blair slid her hands along the garment bag that held her perfect white dress. They said only virgins should wear white but who cared? It was tradition. She sure as hell was no virgin all thanks to... Chuck Bass.

"Why would I be? Besides, Chuck probably took each and every one of those girls off Nate's hands. It's what he's best at, isn't it?" It was then Blair's hands stopped moving. Would Chuck be touching those dirty low-class strippers with those talented, soft, hands of his? Oh, he better not have or else Blair would... what would she do? What could she do? Nothing. This exactly proved the point she had told Dorota just earlier. He was Chuck Bass. It was what he did best and no limo quicky could change him.

Blair stood there in front of her wedding dress, nervous about Chuck and the strippers while Serena sat only feet away from her, worried about Nate and the strippers. Blair's bedroom before her wedding was supposed to be filled with smiles, giggles, and joy. Instead, two girls sat, fretting over the boys they loved.

* * *

The shrill ring of Chuck's cell phone went off, intruding on the peace and quiet of his suite. His bed contained the day's groom which had been sleeping peacefully, thanks to too many tequila shots, was now sitting up looking around in annoyance. Nate, from his spot in the middle of the bed looked over at the couch through drowsy eyes. "Chuck, man, answer the phone." Nate groaned before lying back within a sea of plush pillows.

Chuck groaned from his position on the couch. Like Nate, he didn't have a warm body to keep himself company. He had tried throughout the night to pick himself up a good looking stripper like the many nights before, but with the wedding so close he found himself unable to find joy in it. Not that he had been having much joy in it recently, all of his recent expenses were from the sheer need of getting over his best friend's girl.

Reaching over to the coffee table Chuck grasped his blackberry before pressing the little green button and bringing the device to his ear.

"What. What. What. What. What." He repeated, annoyance clear in his voice. He simply wasn't in the mood; shots and failed attempts at getting it up could do that to a man. The voice on the other end didn't seem any more pleased as his was.

"I swear to all things Audrey, Bass if you bring that attitude or a cheap whore to my wedding I will..." She was so annoyed she couldn't even think of a good excuse. "...I will..." Every little threat that came into her head suddenly sounded like a sexual innuendo.

"You'll what?" He retorted. "Punish me? I dare you." He ground out, almost forgetting it was the day of her wedding and he was feet away from the man who would be having the honor. "Tie me up and whip me? What could you possibly do to me?" He questioned, now fully awake and sitting up.

Blair flushed some as she sat in the limo, on the way to the church with her garment bag and Serena next to her.

"Get your ass up and Nate's as well, and if he comes to this wedding stoned or drunk I will have Serena kick your ass. With her four inch Manolos. Are we clear?"

Chuck, hardly intimidated by her threat, got up and walked into the bathroom so Nate wouldn't hear them. "I will bring Nathaniel clean and sober to the wedding, not because of your threats of Serena, but simply because I want to see you go through with this." And with that, Chuck shut off his phone and put it on the counter. He pressed his hands against the bathroom counter and for a few moments he stared at himself in the mirror.

Did she not remember the night before? Did she not remember crying to him saying she couldn't do this? Where was that Blair? Where was the honest Blair that was in so much denial she couldn't think straight but could at least admit she was confused? A part of Chuck had hoped that this morning would play out differently. Chuck had hoped she'd storm into the suite, tell Nate it was over, and then throw herself at him. Instead, it was the exact opposite. He knew he was expecting too much, he had never given Blair a reason to think he was worth giving anything up for, much less showing that he wanted her to do so. He knew after this day it was all over.

"Nathaniel!" Chuck yelled out from his position at the counter. "Get your ass up, take a few asprin , and let's get ready for your fucking holy union!"

* * *

Blair stood by the double doors that lead out to the altar, her future husband, and the people she would spend the rest of her life trying to impress. Dread was washing over her; and every part of her body was begging her to turn around and to run away. She wanted to run, she needed to run, and she needed to get out of here. This wasn't right. That was rational Blair, the part that only came out to play once in a while. Fairytale Blair and Society Blair were telling her that it was just cold feet and to suck it up. Was it odd that that Blair sounded a lot like her mother? The wedding planner walked in front of Blair and draped her veil in front of her face.

The wedding march music began and Blair knew that this was it. She turned to her father giving him a pleading look, begging him to save her from this. Blair wanted him to see the doubt in her eyes and tell her that it was ok if she didn't want to go through with this. Her father, unable to see clearly through the veil, gave his daughter a loving smile.

"You're so beautiful, my Blair Bear. This is the happiest day of my life." Harold told her, the emotion in his voice making it clear that it was true. That pushed away Blair's thoughts of running-she couldn't do that to her family, and after all it was just cold feet. She knew the moment she and Nate were officially married all those warm and fuzzy feelings would fill her once again.

Chuck stood at the end of the aisle next to Nate, and he watched as Serena strutted down the aisle, a playful look on her face pointed towards Nathaniel. The girl had had too many glasses of champagne, Chuck concluded, finding her flirtatious behavior towards the groom odd. The wedding march music played and he turned his attention from the bridesmaid and down the aisle. And that was when he saw her. She looked breathtaking; the air was almost knocked out of him as he stared at Blair. She was perfection, a vision, she was his angel. Chuck stood frozen, and for a split second he forgot that she wasn't coming for him.

For the first few steps of her walk down the aisle her eyes were closed and her father led her. It took her a few moments to find the strength to open her eyes and when she did, they landed on Chuck and she couldn't help but smile wide. A real, genuine Blair Waldorf smile. Suddenly all those fears and thoughts of running and feelings of drowning went away and she could breathe. Her eyes remained on his, and for a split second she forgot that she wasn't walking to him. Her eyes shifted from Chuck to Nate and that doomed feeling settled back in. That should have been enough to make Blair halt but she rationalized that the feeling was in fact not that of doom, simply anticipation.

* * *

The wedding played out as it normally would have. They had opted not to write their own vows and went with ones chosen from a book instead. At the time the decision was made it was because the wedding was so close and it was irrational to expect a bride and groom to write heartfelt vows while planning an elaborate wedding, but now Blair was just thankful because she wasn't sure what she would have said.

The reception was just as boring as the wedding for Blair. She sat in her chair while old married society couples came up and congratulated them. Blair danced with her father and Nate's father while Nate danced with both the mothers. They shared a dance and though, to the people attending the wedding, it looked sweet, Blair just felt awkward. The boy she had once felt so close too suddenly felt so distant. She knew it was her, she knew she had to snap herself out of this rut. Nate had always been so loyal to her, and he wasn't deserving of the thoughts that she was having. She had to forget Chuck and those 'feelings' and just enjoy her new life with Nate.

Chuck was in pain as he watched the two dance, just as he had watched the ceremony fold out in front of him. His Blair was gone forever. That rare girl he had the pleasure of seeing when they were alone would forever be hidden away by the name Archibald. She'd pop out a few kids and spend the rest of her life writing out 'thank you' cards while her husband spent his days doing god knows what. It sickened him. Chuck knew he wouldn't be a good husband, but that was why he didn't string girls along. His future was planned out for him, his miserable future, to be just like his father. It wasn't until this wedding Chuck realized that Blair was destined to be her mother.

Chuck spent most of the wedding with his date, a high society girl from Constance. She was petite, brunette, and with fair porcelain skin As the two danced, Blair watched them from her spot at the table. The girl reminded her of someone but she couldn't place whom. She then looked a few feet from Chuck and saw Nate and Serena dancing. The two were smiling and laughing, as they always did. Nate never smiled and laughed that way with her, and suddenly Blair felt incredibly lonely.

* * *

Blair rushed through the bathroom door, her hand coming up to lock the door frantically. The emotion had come at her all at once as she watched Chuck and his date dance, alongside Nate and Serena. She had made a huge mistake. She was drowning, she was falling, and she was spinning out of control. Her head was nothing but a confusion of fears and doubt. Once Blair was sure the door was locked she went to the marble counter and planted her palms firmly on the cold surface. She looked up and into the mirror. She caught her own eyes and saw the panic and fear in them. Her face was red, her hands were trembling, and her knuckles were turning white as her fingers curled up into her hands and her nails dug into her skin, just wanting to feel something to stop the spinning.

Blair had just made the biggest mistake of her life and there was no turning back. All the justifying and rationalizing that she had spent the entire say doing lifted and she saw it all for what it really was. A mistake. She hadn't had cold feed, she had been genuinely unsure. She hadn't felt anticipation, she had felt doom. Those warm and fuzzy feelings hadn't returned, and instead she felt that emptiness. Her amber colored eyes were starting to tear and looking at herself once again she saw the tears clinging to her lower lashes. The moment a single tear fell onto the counter she lost control. She gasped for air, when she realized she had been holding her breath. Her hands came up and grasped at her throat as she wondered, through her hazy thoughts, why she couldn't breathe. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly against the sculpted material of her lacy white wedding dress. Her fingers let go of her throat and they slid up her delicate neck before clasping over her mouth, trying to stop the sobs that had been released. Her eyes shut tightly as the tears began to flow freely from her eyes and they slid from her blushed cheeks falling onto the beautiful fabric of her dress. It was then Blair's legs gave in and she sunk down to the floor collapsing into a pile of tulle and white lace. Blair continued to sit there as she sobbed so violently her chest ached from the hard rising and falling.

That was how Dorota had found her half an hour later. The maid had gathered up her young charge in silence and after they splashed some cold water on her face and made her look presentable once again she was led out to where Nate was waiting for her. Dorota, the always loyal maid, hadn't said a word. She didn't question it or try to get answers out of Blair. She didn't need to. She knew.

Blair pushed her veil back over her face, wanting to hide her puffy eyes from her husband and everyone else. She felt nothing as she walked with him to the limo, the screams and congratulations thrown their went unheard by Blair as she numbly got into the limo.

Chuck watched as the couple left. He stood there quietly, as he saw the one girl he was sure he'd ever love leave with his best friend to live happily ever after. It was his fault after all, even though he couldn't admit it to himself or her. Back in junior year, after their brief fling he thought he could maybe voice the feelings, maybe admit it. Now, after over a year of burying, and watching the two, the words seemed more hidden then ever before. It killed Chuck knowing that if only he had had some courage there was a small chance he could have stopped this before it had gotten too far. Chuck was a coward.

* * *

Serena grabbed the lapels of his jacket as she pulled him into the hotel room, feverishly needing something to end this pain she felt. The door to the suite closed and Serena began pulling at his jacket when her hand slipped into the pocket and she pulled out his place card. She tossed the card that read _"C.B." _to the floor.

"I need you... please." She groaned desperately, just wanting someone to make this night go away.

* * *

Blair stared out the window of the limo as the night stars shined down. She couldn't keep her eyes off of the stars; they had been her safe place as a girl. She'd stare at them and dream about her prince charming, her perfect wedding, and her beautiful life. She felt as if all those dreams were suddenly shattering. She looked over at her husband and she felt nothing. It was her doing after all, she had been too weak to admit that maybe she had been wrong in the past about her love for this boy. This was her bed, she made it, and it was her time to lie in it. She promised Nate a wife, a wife that loved him just as much as she knew he loved her, and she was going to give him that wife.

* * *

Chuck began kissing her hard, his fingers sinking deep into her long hair as he pulled her body tight against his. It didn't mold perfectly against his like Blair's did, but it was something. He needed to bury himself deep into someone else, hoping that he could just momentarily forget about all his pain. It was what he did best, after all. Chuck only knew of three ways to ease pain: sex, drugs, and alcohol. Chuck had never felt this way before in all his life, he had never felt this hopeless, this abandoned.

* * *

Nate kept his eyes on the glass of champagne in his hand. He momentarily looked over at Blair, but she seemed far too lost in her own world and he didn't want to interrupt whatever thoughts were going on in her head. He had said that this was a marriage of convenience and it was true, but it suddenly didn't feel all that convenient. It felt like a mistake. Sure, he and Blair had been together forever, but it was out of habit, and he had turned that into something it was never meant to be. Nate finished off his glass in one gulp.

Nate had told Serena that it was over after the night of the engagement party, that he could handle being a cheating boyfriend but not a cheating husband. He had promised this girl a loving husband and he would do his best to convey that. It was his fault, really. He had been miserable for years, he had wanted out for years, but he clung to Blair because she was familiar and instantly willing to please him. He had been too willing to do what his family wanted because she was Blair and he had always assumed they'd eventually get married anyways. Nate was simply a puppet.

* * *

"Carter." Serena moaned as the boy pushed her up against the suite door with whispers and promises of making it all fade away.

* * *

"Blair." Nate said looking over at his new wife. Blair was too lost in her thoughts to hear him. She couldn't stop thinking about her and Chuck in the limo, both times. The way he looked at her with adoration, the way he touched her as if he needed her to survive, Blair was suddenly realizing she needed him just as much as it felt he needed her. Being in this limo with Nate felt unnatural, but this was what she had chosen.

"Blair." Nate said once again and Blair snapping out of it looked at him in annoyance.

"What?"

* * *

Chuck and his Blair look-a-like date had finally shed all their clothes and Chuck couldn't keep his lips off of her, he needed her, he needed her to be Blair, to play the part and to make some of this pain bearable.

"Blair..." He groaned as the girl's lips found a sensitive spot on his neck. The girl jerked back suddenly.

"What!" She yelled out. It was then Chuck realized the mistake he had made. The girl pulled back looking at him with disgust.

"Did you just call me Blair?" She yelled at him at him and her tone suddenly seemed less Blair-like and whinier, her eyes wide with shock. Within seconds Chuck grabbed her wrist and yanked her towards him.

"Say a word to anyone about this and I promise you you'll regret it." He ground out his threat; his eyes angry as he realized just how badly this could all turn out. He let her go and pointed towards the door. "Get out!"

* * *

AN- What's my excuse? There is none. Yeah. Well I actually do have one. I had a terrible computer and to write I had to do all kinds off odd things. Now I have a new computer and I'm back in action. If it weren't for itsolgatime I never could have started this fic up again. She's a friend who read it on a whim and saw it's potential. And a million thanks to my beta comewhatmayx. I greatly appreciate her reading the chapters and fixing my careless mistakes, as well as keeping me on my toes.

I love you girls immensely and you two are in my hearts.

When will I update again? Not sure, but yes there will be an update. I promise. Next update will also come with a little surprise, as a gift, for my lack of updating. Please review, its honestly what keeps me motived. 3


	6. Chapter 6 What Household?

CHapter 6: What Household?

**AN** - Ok so let me explain why Elle is in this chapter. Because CB ended once Nate and Blair got back together in season 1 it really veered off. A lot of things never happened that happened in the show. You may notice Bart is alive and well. (Well C wouldn't have gone to the ball without B so he never called Bart, Bart never died, therefore Chuck never met Elle.) So yes Elle is in this story and don't worry she's no better than she was in the show, but she does serve a very big purpose in this story.

Also of course I want to thank my beta xcomewhatmay and itsolgatime made a trailer for this story! You can find it on my profile page. It will give hints at what is to come so I hope you all take a look and enjoy it! Also I want to thank HnM skinnys. This person has reviewed every chap since the beginning and was the first and one of the only to review last chapter. I just wanted to thank this person for their ongoing support 3.

* * *

It was two months after the wedding, and Blair's life had calmed down dramatically. And she had to admit, she was happy. There was a spring in her step as she walked out of Bergdorfs, adding another bag to her collection for the day. Handing it to her driver, she smiled contently as he opened the trunk and she glanced over her other purchases of the day. She wasn't happy because she was home from her honeymoon, she wasn't happy because Serena had gotten into Brown, and she wasn't happy because her feelings towards Nate were headed into the right direction. No, she was happy because it was 2 weeks until... that's right, Yale.

"Wait!" Blair gasped as the driver began to shut the trunk. "I almost forgot." She said exasperatedly as she reached forward, taking the bag out. Reaching inside she pulled out a small box of chocolates.

"Perfect." She mumbled before handing the bag back to the driver so he could repeat his task as she headed into the car.

* * *

Blair floated into the bedroom she shared with Nate just as she took a bite of another chocolate. Nothing could spoil her mood lately, for her life was simply perfection. Well, perfection meaning that she was so clouded by Yale she was choosing to ignore the other parts of her unhappy life. Despite a few events and one housewarming party, Blair hadn't spoken to Chuck since the wedding. Although a part of her ached at the loss, of not only that of a friend, but a lover, she was happy that she no longer had to think about her feelings for him knowing he didn't return them.

Blair peeked onto the balcony; through her french doors, to see Nate on the phone. He was always on the phone. It should have bothered Blair, but she was on cloud Yale. Tossing her chocolates onto her bed and kicking off her new Louboutin heels, she picked up the design magazine she had purchased on the way home. Flinging herself onto the bed, she opened it and began to look at an overly staged room. Her fingers inched their way towards the box of chocolates as her eyes stared at the magazine pages and right when they came into contact with another she smiled before plucking it from the box and bringing it to her lips.

Just then the doors to the balcony opened and Nate strode in, surprised to see Blair.

"Hey you." Blair said with a grin on her face. "So, I was thinking..." She began as she sat up on her knees holding up the magazine. "We need to find the new place soon, it's only two weeks until Yale and Columbia. I want us to at least have a week to settle in. We should go today." Blair decided before popping the chocolate into her mouth and holding up the magazine.

"You see these curtains?" She questioned pointing to the page, normally not one to talk with food in her mouth but she was overexcited. Nate seemed uninterested. Frustrated with his constant lack of interest, Blair shook the magazine until he seemed to pay it more attention, she smiled proudly. "These curtains are apparently all the new rage, therefore we must have them in..." She turned the pages some. "...this color. They don't make them in this color. We'll have to have my mother call in some favors." Blair then sat her backside onto the heels of her feet as she studied the page some. "We'll need to hire a decorator." She mumbled becoming completely engrossed in the magazine once again.

Nate finally sensing that she was done stood at the edge of the bed tapping his phone into the palm of his hand nervously. "Blair, I was talking to my grandfather... and he made a few good points." Nate said, his eyes meeting hers. While her eyes were filled with hopes and dreams of the near future his seemed far more serious.

"About decorators?" Blair questioned knowing it had nothing to do with decorators, but she could hope. Nate shook his head confirming it was a far more serious matter.

"He was talking about how you and I are an important branch of the Vanderbilt family now and we need someone who can manage the household full time."

Blair looked at him confused before her eyes looked around the room slowly. "What household? It's you, me, and Dorota every other day. We don't even have a cook. We order take out and go out nearly every night. I don't know if you've noticed but there isn't much of a household to run. Are you suggesting we hire a housekeeper? I'm sure we can snake Dorota out from my mother." Blair said nonchalantly as she flipped another page of the magazine.

It was in this moment Nate vowed to himself he was going to burn that damn magazine. Annoyed Nate reached out and took it from her hand before tossing it to the floor. Blair gasped, offended. "Really, Nate? Acting a little childish, aren't we?" She scolded like a mother would her son.

"And the new apartment, that's not happening, Blair." His tone was much more firm than it had been, and suddenly it felt as if she were the child. Blair cocked her eyebrow challengingly.

"Then where are we going to live? The sewers? As much as I like throwing money at charities for those 'down on their luck' I don't want them as roommates." Blair then leaned down over the edge of the bed and trying hard to keep her balance she reached for the magazine but just as her fingertips brushed against the edges Nate's shoe pushed it further out of her reach.

"Blair, I'm trying to tell you something. When have I ever needed to demand your attention?" Nate groaned not liking that his wife didn't have the same will to please as she once had for him.

With a defeated sigh Blair sat back up, her focus squarely on Nate. "I'm listening." She reassured her eyes locked on his blue ones.

"My grandfather said that our family, you and I, need someone full time to make ourselves known as a society couple. To prepare parties, luncheons, handle any public attention. I know you've always wanted Yale, since you were a kid, but do you really think it's best for our family? I just don't think it's wise that we both attend school fulltime when it's important that we make our mark on society." Nate said, purposefully trying to play on the aspect of it being for their 'family' and throwing in 'society' knowing she'd understand that. He knew as he said the words Blair wouldn't like them, so with his best effort, he tried to act as if it was an obvious decision.

Blair thought for a moment that she just imagined those words coming out of his mouth. Her heart began to speed up and anger began to rise inside of her. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten, giving herself a moment to calm down so she wouldn't launch at him and claw at his face with her newly manicured nails.

"We're 18." She said shortly, her jaw tensing as she tried her best to keep her composure. "We're going to college like 18 year olds are supposed to do." She pointed out hoping that would be the end of this completely out of the blue conversation.

"We're also married. You always wanted to be a wife, you were raised for this, you enjoy the parties and the public appearances... isn't it time to grow up? Yale was a childhood dream... you don't need it."

Blair couldn't even think about responding to this ludicrous conversation, so bringing her hands up to his shoulders she gave him a hard shove pushing him out of her way. Stepping off of the bed, she clenched her fists and stormed out of the bedroom the anger building. She felt a tightness in her chest as she realized he was actually trying to take Yale from her. Who was he, her mother? Why did he have overall say on what they did?

Feeling as if she were about to explore Blair went into the guest bedroom, purely for dramatic effect, she slammed the door shut, resisting the urge to scream. A few minutes later Nate left not wanting to deal with her or any tantrum.

* * *

A half hour passed and Blair had hoped that by now she'd be calmer, that she would gracefully walk out of the bedroom and give Nate a list of reasons why he was wrong, but now all she wanted to do was cry. Yale was her dream, more so than Nate had ever been. Just the thought of her not attending the school she had obsessed over for years created a burning in her chest and a tension in her throat. She remembered when she found her father's old Yale sweatshirt and she walked around in it as the bottom dragged across the floor. After three days her mother had had to yank off the sweater and hide it from her. She had inherited quite a few things from her father: her fairytale outlook on things, her passion for love, and her oddly great appearance in a Yale sweatshirt.

She had to talk to someone; she needed someone to listen to her. Serena had been acting oddly since the wedding, and her mother would tell her to suck it up.

Blair walked to the door and opening it she peeked down the hall before stepping out.

"Hello?... Nate?..." She tested the waters seeing if he were even still here. "Honey... I'm pregnant..." She cooed out the obvious lie and when she didn't hear a thud she knew he was gone.

Walking into the bedroom, her hands clasped behind her back as she innocently looked around the room before her eyes landed on her nightstand and sitting on top of it was a beautiful crystal vase Nate's grandfather had given her a wedding present. A small smiled formed on her face. Blair left the bedroom, and upon returning she held a lesser expensive vase in her hands. Grabbing the pink peonies, she arranged them carefully in the new vase and set it down carefully before picking up the one given to her by Nate's grandfather. She looked it over and held it carefully before making her way to the balcony.

"Normally I wouldn't do this..." She said speaking to the vase itself. "I mean honestly, I wouldn't. You're beautiful, and classy, and you fit the decor in here just fabulously." Opening the double doors she stepped out onto the balcony. "But you've got to go."

Blair looked down at the drop and once sure that there was no one coming or going close to her window she held the vase out, shut her eyes, and dropped it. Her eyes remained shut until she heard the shattering below. Looking over the railing she smiled wide.

"Opps." She feigned, before grimacing. "Asshole."

* * *

"Blair is calling." Serena said as he picked her buzzing phone up off of her dresser. "I should probably answer this, it can't be good." She assumed with a shake of her head.

"Ignore it." Nate told her as he ran his hands over his face, obviously stressed from his day.

"Ignore it?" Serena said seeming offended by this. "You just told me you forced her to give up Yale and you're telling me to ignore it? I'm not that terrible Nate." Serena mumbled as she made an attempt to answer but he spoke up before she could.

"Please..." Desperation was clear in his voice. "Can we just talk before you run off. It's not like it was easy for me, you know. I know what Yale means to her, I didn't want to do it but my grandfather..." He sighed as he moved from his position standing against the closed door before sitting back one of her lounge chairs.

"Your grandfather? Who cares about your grandfather? Blair has been nothing but a loyal girlfriend since the day she saw you in the playground... and you took away one of the only things she ever wanted..."

"It's his way, or no way, Serena. My family has no money." He said sternly, hoping the angrier he sounded the more she'd understand. "My grandfather supports us all. He calls the shots. He has this grand plan for me and my cousins and we all committed to following through, letting him lead. What do you think would hurt Blair more? Losing Yale or losing her home... publicly, might I add."

When Serena heard that she knew he was right, Blair could fake that giving up Yale was her idea, she could tell people it was her way of sacrificing for her family, but if she and Nate had to move in with her mother, or had to give up their little apartment Blair would die of embarrassment.

Sadness washed over Serena as she imagined this happening to her best friend, and out of all of them it would hit Blair the hardest. "Then why don't you just tell her that, try to get her to understand?" Serena shrugged her shoulders, exasperated. "I mean why do it like this?" Her question seemed like a good one, but from the look on Nate's face he acted as if the answer was obvious.

"Because this way she'll act as if it's fine, and it will all just go away faster." That was really Nate's main goal, to do what he was told with hopes of getting as little of it's consequences thrown back at him. He was never one for handling stressful situations.

"Have you talked to Chuck about this?" Serena questioned cocking an eyebrow as she folded her arms over her chest, she felt for Nate but she knew Blair was going through much more than he was.

Nate shook his head with a sigh. "Chuck has been so caught up with his new... life. Besides recently when we talk he always seems to take Blair's side. At least with you I knew I had a shot at some support." Which Nate had found odd at first, Chuck had always taken Nate's side, even if just for show. It seemed lately though Chuck wasn't willing to put up with all the drama as he had been willing to in highschool. Maybe Chuck Bass was growing up.

Serena rolled her eyes. "Maybe it's because Blair's right." Words she never thought she'd say without Blair's persuasion. "If I were you I'd make this up to Blair." Her words were stern and suddenly became cold. "You chose her, make that worth something." Nate looked at Serena, a little taken aback by her statement. It was true but she had never once vocalized it. Getting up Nate walked over to her and attempted to hug his friend but she took a step back before shaking her head.

"Don't." Serena said tightly not wanting him to touch her, not after all he had put her through the past 2 years. She vowed that after the wedding they were over and she refused to hurt Blair anymore than Nate seemed to determined to.

* * *

Chuck stared down at the papers in front of him trying to figure out why the new bar inside one of his father's hotels wasn't making as much money as they had originally expected. In reality, Chuck wouldn't have to be the one doing this. Bart had created a very strong company and they had a whole floor of people who did this but his father had told him that he had to learn the basics. If he knew how to do everyone else's job he would have a better understanding of how everything worked. Chuck had been doing very well since he joined his father at Bass Inc. He had thrown himself completely in headfirst and was soaking up everything his father was teaching him. Partly because he wanted to succeed and become head of the company one day, but mostly it was because he wanted his father's approval.

Chuck thought about Blair once in a while, and he'd wonder if she were wearing her red tights, he'd question if she were happy, and late at night he'd wonder if she ever thought about him. The ache that he had had when she had gotten married had dulled. He had seen Blair and Nate at a few events, had gone to their housewarming party, and once in a while, when he was available, he'd talk to Nate. From all he had seen and heard she seemed happy, as much as he held a torch for the young girl he couldn't really complain if she were happy. After all, it truly was what he always wanted for her, to break free from her torment and to find an ounce of happiness that he was sure the rest of them may never find. Although her happiness didn't stop his pain, to ease it had as he had thrown himself completely into Bass and things were going very well. Chuck was growing up, the idea of going out for a night of getting high and tracking down the white castle prostitues didn't seem as appealing as it once had.

Chuck kept looking over the various sheets of information in front of him and he just couldn't figure out what the problem was. He had been at this for an hour and he knew that his father would want a summary by the end of the day. He hated feeling panicked, but it usually helped him finish. Tapping his pen against his desk he was about to give up when his cell phone rang. He had been concentrating so hard on his work that it startled him. Reaching over he picked up the phone and looked at the called ID. _"B. Archibald." _

Chuck hesitated when he saw the name laid out in front of him, it wasn't the name itself, he had accepted the fact she was an Archibald a good week after the wedding, but he couldn't remember the last time she had called him. Not wanting it to go to voicemail, he answered before he could think clearly about if it was a wise move.

"Hello?" He questioned as he tucked the phone between his shoulder and ear before picking up the papers laid out in front of him once again.

"Bass? It's Blair." Blair said doing her best to hold it together, but her few sniffles gave it away.

"Blair, what's the matter?" Chuck questioned as he set the papers down and he turned his chair around to face the window. "Are you alright? You sound as if someone just kidnapped your Audrey Hepburn Platinum Collector's Edition." He said with a hint of a smile as he propped his feet up on the windowsill.

Chuck heard a long sigh on the other end of the phone, as if she was debating whether or not to tell him what was going on. "Listen, I just need to talk..." He heard a brief pause before her voice came again, quieter this time. "Like we used to. I need to complain and believe it or not you are the best one to go to for that... I just need someone to talk to." She admitted fully and then waited for his response. She didn't have to wait to long.

"I'll be right there, Blair. Apartment I'm assuming?" Chuck spun his chair back around so he was facing forward. Blair appreciated the lack of questions and his simple compliance.

"Yes, and please hurry before I down another box of chocolates." Before Chuck could say a word she had hung up.

Chuck liked the sound of this; he had missed when he and Blair could spend time together, before the affair, before the awkwardness. She'd call him or stop by the suite and tell him all the things Nate or Serena were doing wrong and it had always seemed to ease her. If necessary they'd come up with a plan to force whoever was in question to do what she wanted, then it was over. They'd smile and be on their separate ways. They had always been close that way, they knew what the other wanted, or needed, and they provided it without a second thought. It was what made their brief sex life so fulfilling.

Just as Chuck was about to stand, he noticed something in the stack of papers he hadn't noticed before. Picking up a pen he scribbled down a quick note.

"We're closing too early." Chuck mumbled, seeing the problem he had been working on before he stood fully. Taking his phone off of his desk he walked out of his office.

Just as he headed towards the elevator, his new secretary stood up to get his attention.

"Mr. Bass." She began in that sweet voice of hers.

"Yes, Elle?" Chuck questioned somewhat annoyed as he had somewhere to be. Bart had hired the new girl only a month earlier firing the older, heavyset, woman that had come before her. Chuck had liked Phillis, she was kind, but stern, she almost reminded him of a mother that he had always so desperately longed for, but Bart had claimed she was stealing things and so she was gone. He had replaced her with this tall, brunette girl, with long hair and even longer legs, but he found her to be far too nosy. Sure she'd be good for a noon-er but Chuck had made a commitment to impress his father, and he had a feeling that nailing the new girl wouldn't do that.

"Where are you going?" She questioned but instantly realized it wasn't her place. "I mean, if your father calls, where do you want me to tell him you'll be?" She instantly corrected herself knowing her first question was far too inappropriate for her position.

"Tell him I'm going to Blair's... the Archibald's. I should be back in an hour or two, consider it my lunch break." Chuck told her before he hit the button of the elevator.

"Yes, Mr. Bass." Elle then sat down at her desk eyeing the back of him carefully waiting for the moment he was out of sight. Once Chuck was inside the elevator and the doors shut Elle reached into her handbag and pulled out her cell phone before texting.

_"He just left to see Blair Archibald. This should move things along."_ And with that sent she slipped her phone back into her purse.

* * *

Chuck arrived at the apartment ten minutes after he had left Bass. It had given him a lot of time to think. He considered turning around, he considered finally telling Blair how he really felt, but after all of it he decided to be her friend, like she had asked. Bringing his hand up in a fist he knocked on the door and it wasn't long before Blair answered. Her eyes were puffy and her jaw was tense. It was clear she was far from happy. She didn't say anything right away and instead she stepped back letting him in before handing him a scotch. It was then he noticed the martini in her other hand.

"Thank you." He said as he took the drink and didn't hesitate to take a sip. He looked around the apartment some, it was small and under decorated but he knew it was meant to be temporary. He looked to Blair and saw that she was heading towards the couch so he followed. Once she was seated he sat in an armchair only a few feet away.

"I'm not going to Yale." Blair said simply before he had a chance to ask why he was there. She sat composed, her hands in her lap as if she had been practicing all day. The news was a surprise to Chuck. Yale was her dream; it was something that he knew would make her happy.

"Why on earth are you not going to Yale?" Chuck sat his drink down before leaning back and bringing his leg up, bent cross his knee as his eyes focused on her and the odd statement.

Blair looked at him and sighed, hating that she had to admit the reason. "Because Nate said it wasn't a good idea us both going to school full time."

Chuck had been expecting a reason far different, such as Yale was no longer in existence.

"So you're telling me." Chuck began, his eyes on her, she was avoiding his gaze knowing what was coming, "That you, Blair Waldorf, or Archibald, or whoever..." He waved away the minor details, "Aren't going to the school of your dreams because your husband simply told you no." Chuck cocked an eyebrow as he waited for her to tell him he had it all wrong. When she didn't he couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Wow." He uncrossed his legs and sat up a little straighter. "His leash you on sure as hell got a lot shorter, hasn't it?" He mumbled some as he dusted some imaginary dust from his shoulder.

Blair instantly got offended at this and her eyes narrowed. "Who in the hell do you think you are to say that to me?" She questioned, and she had no real reason to snap at him, but she needed to get out the anger and she always could on Chuck.

Chuck simply smiled and Blair pulled back some; this hadn't been the reaction she had expected or had hoped for. She had hoped he'd yell back. That was their thing, she pushed, and he'd push back. At least then she'd be able to let out some aggression on someone who was waiting and willing to take it.

"You see there. You didn't allow my disrespect. Let's role-play for a moment..." Chuck said before clearing his throat as he prepared the scenario in his head. Just as he looked up to Blair to begin he noticed her arched eyebrow. "Really Waldorf, mind in the gutter?" This earned him a roll of the eyes.

"I'm Chuck Bass." He announced as he always did. "You are Blair..."

"That doesn't really seem like role-playing, Bass." Blair interrupted, before taking a very large gulp from her martini glass. Chuck chuckled.

"Just play along." He added before he moved to the edge of his seat to demand her attention. She noticed the change in his stance and she followed doing the same.

"Blair, you are not going to Yale. Sorry but I want to go to school and you going as well is an inconvenience." He told her straight forward and without missing a beat she replied.

"Please, if anyone is going to school it's me. Since when do you tell me what to do?" Blair replied in her high-horsed typical Blair fashion. It made Chuck smile.

"See, that was easy. Now why can't you do the same to him? What's the difference between Serena, Nate and I? Why are you honest with us and not him?" Chuck made a point to not be compared to Nate directly-he wasn't here for that.

Blair was still for a moment as she considered his question, it was a good one, she had to admit that. She picked up her martini glass to find it was far too empty and looking to him and held it out with a small smile.

"Refill?" Chuck nodded and went to go make her another drink. While he was gone she thought. Why was she herself a hundred percent with Chuck and Serena but almost never had been with Nate? She felt as if she wore a mask around him for as long as she remembered. Always trying to impress him, and it make him think she was perfect had really, at the end of it all, had done a lot of damage.

"Blair." Chuck said trying to snap her from her thoughts. She looked up to see him holding out her glass and she didn't hesitate before taking it and drinking it all in one, unladylike gulp. Setting the, once again, empty glass down she looked at him.

"He's like one of those society women I try so hard to impress. I play a part with him... I genuinely want all the romance and the love but I'm so scared of running him off that I won't be myself... I can't remember the last time I really showed him the real me." Blair stared off as she talked, all the evidence of what she was saying suddenly coming to her. "I mean when you and I would talk on the phone about ruining someone I would pretend you were my mother so he didn't know what I was up to and then I'd smile falsely so he wouldn't question anything. If he gave me a gift I hated, I'd smile, correct him of course, but claim that it didn't matter. It does matter. It really matters so why can't I tell him that?" Blair questioned, finally looking away from the spot on the wall she had been staring at and finally back to him. He had a small, genuine smile.

"What are you smiling about?" She questioned instantly feeling vulnerable. "My misery? Is that it?"

Chuck shook his head and gave her a small laugh. "Not in the slightest, just the last time you were this clear headed you were so drunk that you were practically flashing your panties to the concierge at The Palace."

Blair gasped at this, the look of shock confirmed that she hadn't remembered. "I would never!"

"You really don't remember that night?" Well this suddenly got a lot more interesting. "You don't remember begging my father to take you right there on the lobby table?" Blair's eyes widened and Chuck laughed, a grin on his face. Blair's expression softened, one because she now knew he was lying but also because she loved all the smiles he had came with today, real Chuck Bass smiles, the ones not many got to see.

"You seem happy." Blair pointed out with a sigh, the contrast making it much more obvious how unhappy she had been. Chuck didn't want to tell her that it was because he was here with her, as that would only complicate things.

"Work has been going really well." He nodded as he picked up his scotch, sitting back and taking a sip of the amber liquid. He didn't think he would have to elaborate anymore, but apparently he was wrong.

"Do you have your own office? What's it like actually working there? Do you have to deal with your father? Do you have your own secretary? What are you working on? Do you have any dirt on any of the wives?" Blair questioned barely taking a second to breath between questions. Chuck was astounded and he smirked, as she seemed to want to talk about everything they would have talked about if they had been actively speaking.

Chuck wanted to answer every single one of her questions but he didn't know where to start. The clock then caught his eyes and he sighed some.

"I need to get back. I'll make you a deal, bring me lunch tomorrow and we'll catch up. I actually am working on something that I think you really ight like." Chuck then set his glass down and stood before he straightened out his suit. Blair noticed the small motions and smirked some. He looked good in a suit, he always had, but it was different now as it wasn't for some event, but for his new lifestyle. Blair couldn't help but to think that maybe Chuck Bass was growing up... and well.

"I think this new life suits you, Bass. I'm truly impressed." Blair said as she stood and began to walk him to the door.

"Well you are my toughest critic." He turned towards the door and he opened it. "I'm off, darling. I'll see you tomorrow. And I will have a word with Nate, try to figure out what he's thinking, if you promise to work on this issue about being yourself with him." Blair nodded at his suggestion and then brought her hand to his shoulder and gave him a pat and a rub.

"I will, and thank you. Have a good day, make me proud." Blair said with a sincerity and contentment in her voice, as if she was sending her husband off to a hard day at the office. She always had enjoyed Chuck's company, it wasn't difficult to just be relaxed around him, and she never had to try. It was simply comfortable and he always had a way to make her problems seem easy to fix.

* * *

Chuck walked past his secretary and he pushed open the door of his office to find Bart sitting in his chair, looking out the window. Chuck was startled at first but then shook it off as he walked over to his desk, sitting down in the chair across from his father.

"Elle told me you went to see Blair." Bart's question hung there for a moment, the room suddenly had an air of awkwardness.

"She's having some school troubles, she wanted my advice. Since when has it mattered what I do with my friends?" Chuck kept his eyes on his father, wondering where the sudden interest had come from.

"She's married now. You haven't hid your little crush on her too well; I've had an inkling for a while now. But she's married and trust me when I say nothing good comes from bedding a woman who's tied to someone else. It only leads to heartache for one of both parties." Chuck didn't understand where this was coming from. It felt odd that his father was giving him advice, much less useful advice.

"It was purely a platonic visit. It was no more sexual than any visit I've had with Nathaniel." Chuck crossed his hands and placed them on the desk before shrugging his shoulders. Bart looked at his son and sighed before nodding.

"I don't want you to get hurt, son. I know what it's like to lose a good woman and it's not something you easily can forget." Bart stood from the desk preparing to leave. "Just look out for yourself, you're doing well here and it's very much noticed." Bart looked down at the papers Chuck had been going through before. "And we were closing too early, good job, son." Chuck felt some pride wash over him as his father said that, any ounce of approval from the man was instantly soaked up. Bart headed for the door and before he left he turned around as if suddenly remembering something.

"And don't forget, we're angling for a family image. You need to start dating with intent, Chuck. I know you didn't take me seriously the first time I told you but this is important." Chuck gave his father a nod showing he understood but in reality he wasn't really up for looking for a serious relationship. Not only was he getting used to a new, stressful job, but the most important relationship he had ever had was a fling with his best friend's wife, whom he was still secretly harboring feelings for. Trying to settle down with some girl was something that he just didn't see in the cards right now.

* * *

Serena stopped by shortly after Chuck had left, the girls talked and Serena let Blair complain while she listened intently. The two laid next to each other in Blair's bed as Serena let Blair go on about how ridiculous Nate had been being. Serena nodded supportivly as Blair threw out every bad thing he had ever done and wondered how it all gave him the right to tell her what to do. Blair loved Serena's company, it wasn't comparable to Chuck's, but Blair knew that Serena would sit there and let her get everything off of her chest. Never one with room to judge Serena wouldn't try with advice, and instead would offer compassion and a much needed feeling of love. After an hour long talk, finishing off Blair's box of chocolates, and watching the first half of 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' Serena was forced to leave to finish up some college paperwork with her mother.

Blair lay in bed as her movie ended, the empty box of chocolates next to her when Nate finally came home. She watched as he came through the door ungracefully, he swayed some as he walked and she knew he was drunk. SHe hated when he drank, the small sense of fun he did have was out the door and he always became brooding.

"You've been drinking." She pointed out without any scolding, she couldn't muster the passion it took to scold. Nate seemed startled at first, he had assumed by the dark room, with only the flicker of the television, that she had been asleep, apparently he had been wrong.

"Just a few." Nate sat on the edge of the bed as he removed his shoes with as much functionality as he could muster. Any will that Blair had to stand up for herself went out the window when she saw how pitiful he looked. Sitting up some she sighed.

"You were right about Yale." She told him and smiled some when she saw him turn around and look at her with relief. "It was a childhood dream, it really has no priority in our life at the moment. Besides, maybe I can go when I'm a little older and you're out of school." She said trying to compromise on her part. She wasn't giving up but she couldn't just turn a switch and change the way she had been acting around Nate for so long all because Chuck said so. Blair still had that need and urge to come off as the perfect, understanding, willing to please wife. Even if she didn't have that in her. She just hoped that whatever Chuck would say to Nate would help convince him that Yale was still a good idea.

Nate seemed thankful that Blair was going to go along with the idea and turning around he crawled over her slowly before giving her a soft kiss. Blair kissed her back but she knew where this was going.

"I have a headache." She feigned before giving him an apologetic smile. "Besides, you should get to sleep. You have a long day tomorrow. Orientation and all." One that he got to attend and she didn't. The moment she said it she realized this fact and she felt another small ache. Blair knew that she shouldn't expect Chuck to fis things for her, but she felt stuck. If she broke out of this role she had created with Nate than she could ruin her marriage and that was something Blair wasn't prepared to do.


End file.
